Twitter has unwisely solicited the wrath of 14th Generation Toilet Hanako-San. This weekend, after having solved all other pressing matters plaguing the platform, Twitter suspended Hanako-san’s accounts. They now have only themselves to blame if employees suddenly go missing during visits to the fourth floor restroom at Twitter headquarters.
For a 444-year-old youkai like Hanako-san, saying, “I’m going to bathe in a sea of your blood” is simply her way of saying, “Hello.” Yet Twitter has apparently frozen her accounts for expressing her innocuous intent to kill us all.
— 十四代目トイレの花子さん (@14Hanako_san) September 15, 2019
She has since opened a new account, so please subscribe to @14Hanako_san.
One can’t help but see parallels with the plight of Chiitan, the lovable yet unsanctioned yura-chan whose extremely popular accounts were banned after posting that she would “visit your house” with a concealed baseball bat (and pissing off humourless parents and the city of Sasaki). That was back in May and, despite a change.org petition and inquiries by the New York Times, Chiitan’s Twitter accounts remain frozen for unspecified reasons. This makes the chances of Hanako-san getting her accounts restored look rather bleak.
For an indie artist like Hanako-san who has been building her base of followers around these accounts for several years, a Twitter suspension can hit pretty hard. Please help by spreading the word for fans to follow her new Twitter account and perhaps picking up a CD or merch at her new storefront on Idol Underworld.
— Derek Vasconi (@DerekVasconi) September 14, 2019
And now that Twitter has stymied the supernatural threat of Hanako-san, they can get around to addressing other persistent issues, like Metallica’s ongoing call to violence:
— Daemon ☠ Aimless (@DaeMetal) September 14, 2019