The Royal-But-Not-That-One Rumble Aftermath


The place is just as tawdry as when we last saw it. TOGARE and YOTSU haven’t moved, but PRODUCER-SAN has; now he LEANS over the table in front of him, a sour SNEER on his face.

On the table, MASHIRO, clinging to life.

And across from them, held in ARMBARS by MEGUMI and MILCBOY, are very beat-up KOMACHI, SHIDARE and NONAMERA.

PRODUCER-SAN: Look at her.

Megumi and Shonen ga Milc PUSH their captives closer!

PRODUCER-SAN: I want answers.


PRODUCER-SAN: Not from you. You did your part. But if you know what Shida was going to do …

SHIDARE: She didn’t do anything. It was my idea.


SHIDARE: (struggling) I thought that we could distract Himari’s hair and–

MILCBOY: What?! Why do you think I was there? I had a curling iron in my backpack!

PRODUCER-SAN: Well, your thinking almost got Mashiro killed. It’s going to take weeks to put her back together.

MEGUMI: And we lost.

PRODUCER-SAN: And you, Nonamera. Maybe now I understand why your old company kicked you out.

NONAMERA: You said that we needed to win! I had to do something!

Producer-san PONDERS for a long BEAT.

PRODUCER-SAN: (to Megumi and Milcboy) Take them to the Cellar, and bring the other girls back. I want to have a conversation with them.

Megumi and Milcboy JOSTLE Nonamera and Shidare out of the room.

PRODUCER-SAN: (to Mashiro’s unconscious body) One of these days. One of these days …

Well that was something, wasn’t it? Hemmed in by Codomomental ingenues, Himari, her hair and her chainsaw blew through it all. This leaves us with quite the situation for tomorrow’s championship match. Saki, once again against a member of Necroma … well. As much value as a tiara of plastic and rhinestones can hold, I’d still love to hear conversations between Sari and Himari now, even if they are in an elder tongue too complex for the human mind to comprehend.

Himari did win, and mostly cleanly at that*, though I was a little bit surprised that Miyako didn’t make it an upset. I was very heartened to see both Uipon and Shidare last as long as they did — Shida almost pulled a Shawn Michaels! — and kind of crestfallen that Aina lasted as not-long as she did. She did do better than poor Kanamil, who never even registered a vote in her support.

So tomorrow. Starting at 9:00 a.m. EDT. One-on-one match, yes. Will it be normal? Absolutely not. I haven’t decided which wrinkles to employ yet, nor which zany characters from the bevy that I had in my back pocket yesterday will make an appearance. But it’s gonna be weird, and it’s gonna be great, and we’ll crown our new Queen of the Scene!

*I mean, there was lots of spamming going on; I never even bothered to try to control it