We live in an age of uncertainty and fear – an age where we’re all indoors. So, what better way to spice things up than that good old WACK brand of uncertainty? That’s right, once again we regret to inform you that one company are at it again!
The withdrawn time of Corona has seen some interesting idol developments like countless digital performances and Pour Lui’s new group all living together, but WACK have decided to steal the spotlight. This is a brand new audition: any applicant of any gender and any nationality can make a new account on Twitter and start the popularity contest to become an idol. 13 lucky boys, girls, neithers, anythings, whatever and whoever will be able to become the next WACK group.
Of course, it’s only been a few hours so there’s a lot of chaos. Already, there’s been some interesting developments. A lot of obvious stratagems like cock jokes and titty jokes and declarations of “as an idol, i’ll do my best!”. But this is Homicidols, we’re promoting alternative idols to overseas fans so, to keep with the theme we’re promoting foreign alternative idol fans to an audience that can help build the bridge between Japan and the outside world. We all love idols right and we all love WACK (terms and conditions may apply) right? So let’s support their overseas expansion! What better way than employing actual foreigners, our collective power can CHANGE the WORLD!
So let’s get to it, these are the Homicidols picks for WACK’s “Project Chin”.
#1: グロパナコ , Guropanako
“Introducing the charm points of the future idol Guropanako
– Androgynous, so popular with both men and women.
– I’m bad at Japanese, it’s quite CUTE isn’t it?
– Eternally 17 years old
– My breast size is B102. REALLY
– I’m a former MTF. I consider myself neither male or female. I have mysterious t*tties and a pen*s.”
Guropanako has been answering fan questions and revealing candid facts about sex, gender and everything in-between. Alternative idols are just that, alternative! So why not support somebody who deviates from the norm as much as possible?
#2: レブ・ナインプリンス, Reb Nineprince
“- A girl with a pixie cut!
– I have blue eyes and glasses
– 100% Portugese!
– My singing voice is described as “Sweet”
– I really love cats and hedgehogs
– My hobbies are illustration and music!”
The secret audition identity of an already boyish but gorgeous future idol who captures the hearts of people around the world with a love for Aya and amazing ukulele covers of various songs.
#3: リンダリンダリンダ, LiNDALiNDA
なぜ #wackちん応募 ？このかわいい人はアイドルになるはずです。 なぜWACKアイドル？ もちろんそれは明白です。ちんぽと悲しみについて歌いたい。なぜリンダリンダリンダ？— リンダリンダリンダ (@LINDALINDA_WACK) June 1, 2020
“-A cute guy!
– Following a dream since childhood
– Good levels of singing and dancing
– Can kinda speak Japanese
– Cute teeth!
– CHANGE the WORLD”
A male performer with experience as a drag queen! Explosive vocals and a candid personality, what’s not to love?
#4: じょるじぇ, Đorđe
“- I’m Serbian!
– My singing voice is emo
– I like to draw
– I have a total of one milk tooth left
– Fluent in English and Serbian
– I have a really thick foreskin
– I’m cute and boyish!”
A mysterious guy from a mysterious country. Studying Japanese at university, their skill is unmatched and their tastes and opinions are esoteric.
The four idols have banded together in a plea to make the audition more interesting, forming an overseas coalition:
We're a collective of horrible foreigners who want to torment Watanabe. If you like one of us please support us all!@chinkonotaigun (Sexual Harassment member)@reb_wack (Diva member)@LINDALINDA_WACK (Bitch member)@joruje_wack (??? member)#wackちん応募https://t.co/ECfE9dFYEt— グロパナコ (@chinkonotaigun) June 1, 2020
So what are you waiting for? Like, retweet and follow! Overseas fans are used to just watching the auditions, so now it’s time to spice it up yourself!