Code Orange’s “Bleeding in the Blur” plays while an incredibly fit, handsome man in a perfectly tailored suit struts toward the wrestling ring set up at the very heart of Nippon Budokan. Homicidol Maniac is his name, and stupid idol games are his, uh, game. He takes the mic.
Good morning to you all! Following allegations of chicanery and insider trading and all kinds of cheating during the Corenament, it seemed that some weren’t satisfied with the result. Well, I’m not going to take away Babymetal’s crown just because some people didn’t think that it was decided fairly, but I do understand the point that was made. Besides, Aina and Su-metal almost coming to blows was pretty exciting. Maybe we’ll get there!
This is Queen of the Scene. Or, Queen of the Scene really starts next week. Right now, what we need to do is decide who’s really worthy of even competing for that title. Your voice votes over the last several days have decided who the real dangerous figures in idol are, and we’ll use the next several to decide the very best among them. There are eight divisions, top two advance to join Su-metal in the real Queen of the Scene competition.
Who’s Almost In
The Look: Pikarin, Younapi (You’ll Melt More!), Waka (Guso Drop)
Pikarin, Younapi and Waka are indeed all great owners of great signature looks — frankly, Waka and her real tattoos should advance just because — but three is also a headache of a number and I only have so many gimmicks in mind, and there were three other idols who personally almost had enough support to join the top tier.
So, we’re going to have a triple-threat match for the right to join the top group in the round robin! The entrants are Kika Front Frontal, Sari from NECRONOMIDOL and Mashiro from Zenbu Kimi no Sei Da. Prepare yourselves — you square off today!
Supersonic: Aina the End (BiSH), MAINA (Osaka Shunkashuto), Manatsu (Babyraids JAPAN), Momose Momo (BILLIE IDLE), Nadeshiko (Yanakoto Sotto Mute), Saki (2&)
Emi from Desu.Rabbits had enough fan support to fit this division, but I didn’t like the overly large number and the other competitors all picked on her, so I did nothing while she ran away. Instead, we neatly have six competitors whose round-robin tournament to determine the top two begins today. And remember — in the event of ties, score differential is the deciding factor unless I decide to make it something else on a whim!
Hell’s Angels: Hanako-san, Shidare (Not Secured, Loose Ends), Yuna (PassCode)
There were three clear favorites here, and let’s face it: Even though certain individuals are pretty good, these must be the cream of the crop, right? How could there possibly be any doubt? How could anybody else hope to even have influence on this fight? Madness. But because it’s three, and we’re already having one triple-threat match, I want to do something different — these three will face off against each other at once, but it’s a fight to the first fall; that idol gets eliminated and the other two advance.
And! Because I’m the boss and I feel like being a little cruel here, I’m going to make it a blindfold match — the competitors can’t see each other, so who knows who’ll be eliminating whom! We’ll take care of this on Wednesday.
Whirlwind: Koto, Yuimetal (Babymetal), Yurapiko (Guso Drop)
Quite a cohort we have here! Because of the odd number and because I remain in a cruel mood, I’ve decided to award a free top seed from this division! Yes, fans of the squared circle, I have decided that KOTO is the winner of this division!
Oh, boo yourselves! There’s one spot remaining from these masters of dance, but a dance-off … while I’m sure that we’d all love to see that, I can think of something much worse to subject the remaining two competitors to. For Yuimetal and Yurapiko, I will hold a smile-off to determine who really deserves to move on to Queen of the Scene! Get your dimples ready, because you’ll be grinning yourselves into a coma tomorrow.
Edgecrusher: Maki (ayumikurikamaki), Rinahamu, Ten Tenko
You all have strange tastes indeed! I think I know how to handle this one. Rinahamu and Ten Tenko were both favored over Maki, so I could simply advance them both, but what fun would that be? Instead, to give Maki a chance, we’ll first have Rinahamu and Tenten square off, the winner to advance as #1 and the loser to face Maki. If Maki succeeds, she can move on IF she can also defeat the first winner, too. Fair? Absolutely not. Interesting? Definitely. This begins on Wednesday.
New School: Ayuni D (BiSH), Chiyono Ide (3776), Pan Luna Leafy (BiS), Ruka (The World Standard)
This combination of recent additions and young faces in the idol pool is talent-rich! I look forward to their simple, uncomplicated, in-no-way-dramatic round-robin tournament to advance! I should also probably start to talk about 3776 a little bit to give people an idea of just who the heck Ide is!
“Anger” begins to play; BUCHO streaks toward the ring! He seizes the mic!
“This is a grave injustice, Homicidol Maniac! First you deny my Emi her right to compete with the singers, and now you don’t even recognize her among the young leaders in idol. I demand justice!”
Okay then. Now, before I was so rudely interrupted, we’ll begin round-robin matches for this division tomorrow. Bucho, go start to strategize with your fans for exactly when Emi should time her attack.
Sisterhood: Ano (You’ll Melt More!), Hashiyasume Atsuko (BiSH), Beni (Avandoned), First Summer Uika (BILLIE IDLE)
You all really want to hang out with idols, don’t you? There were more names in this category than any other, in fact. But what would you do with any of these young ladies if you were to actually hang out? Drink beers? Tell dirty jokes? I can’t believe that they’d actually want to do that. So if you’re saying that you want to hang out, prove that they’d hang out with you. On Thursday, get the idol you support to tweet “#QueenOfTheScene” to @homicidols; depending on how many actually do it, the combined number of likes and RTs will determine who moves on. If nobody does anything, I’ll decide personally who’ll make for the better competition moving forward.
Hint: Using either your Japanese knowledge or that of a friend, tweet this at the idol you support between now and Thursday! Explain the point. Maybe they’ll get it, maybe they won’t, maybe they’ll just give you a like because that’s all they’re allowed to do, but hey, since when is wrestling a fair fight?
Bow Down: Pour Lui (BiS)
In our final division, there were many individual nominees, but Pour Lui dominated. Fair enough! Lui, you’re in. The rest of you, you’re going to compete in a battle royale to —
The lights cut out; “SARNATH” begins to play, and Kakizaki Risaki appears in the ring!
“Maniac, you incredible fool! Surely you know that I, too, had multiple showings of support.”
Okaki, I’m so sorry, I was just trying to simplify–
“Enough of your puny mortal impertinence. I demand advancement!”
I’ll tell you what, Mistress of the Dark: I’ll let you face Pour Lui one-on-one. If you beat her, you’re in as the #1 most worshipful; if you lose, we’ll still have the battle royale, but you’ll be just one of many combatants. Pour Lui’s in regardless.
Risaki’s eyes flash with blood hunger
“It is agreed, then. Pour Lui, when I’m done with you, you will rest … in … peace …”
The lights come back up, and Risaki is gone
But! That match happens today!
I’ve had about enough terror for one day, friends, so let’s get right down to it. I’ll be in the studio throughout the day’s action, so feel free to ask any questions you might have!
Whose signature visual is most on point?
The biggest and best voices in the hard side of idol
There is no god but these goddesses
Current Queen of the Scene Entrants
- Pour Lui