Singles Round-up 2020.04.01

Hi, and welcome to a new weekly feature on where we look at each Wednesday’s choicest idol victuals, so you can decide which of the delicious offerings to eat.  With your ears.  Let’s go!

Zenbu Kimi No Sei Da – Paw Petrol

I don’t know whether that was a typo at Codomomental HQ or they are just being edgy and subversive but here’s Zenkimi doing the theme tune to the new Paw Patrol anime and it’s more fun than biting a squeaky pork chop and then sniffing your friend’s bottom.  So I’ll stop doing that.

Lady Consequence – STRONTIUM♡HAT

Ex-Cutiegrudge member, Conse-chan spits venom over sloshy hip-hop beats that sounds like they were recorded inside a washing machine inside a vacuum cleaner made of fans.  If that isn’t the sort of thing that makes you hug yourself while making soft, high-pitched yippees then coupling song “Currycomb Rhumba” will keep you jiggling till elevenses.

Animal Squish Gurlz – Dog Smacker / Cat Slapper

This animal cruelty themed idol group provoked outrage when they were revealed last month but what depraved horrors are contained within this, their debut single?  Well actually, both songs sound identical and seem to consist of a woman repeatedly sighing “oooh kawaii” over some thumping 4/4 beats made from sampled chicken clucks.  I give it a disappointing C-.


Ah, this is more like it!  HG serve up another welcome helping of their trademark mix of 60’s girl-pop and slinky urinal-rock on the title track before feeding it all through a vaseline coated hairdryer for “Tooth Rot Blues” and then wrapping it up with the dreamy ballad “Use Both Sides of the Paper”; sage advice in these toilet roll deficient times.

SAKURACWTCH – Hitsuji no Cariad

Queens of Aberystwth’s burgeoning Welsh language idol scene, Angharad and Gwen are back with a fluffy bop that is certainly more Pot Noodle than ramen but fills you up all the same.


Well this is finally out today, but we’ve all already been subjected to that video where they butcher Jaguchi and sell her flesh on Nakamise Market.  Hopefully that was all an act but I really don’t want to eat this promotional packet of beef jerky they sent to the Homicidols office.

See you next week idol-hounds!