WTF BANANA MONKEYS!?

/ Kerrie

THE BANANA MONKEYS are truly one of the most cursed, yet fascinating idol groups happening at the moment.

Let’s get the good news out of the way. A new EP, Good bye, Hello, coming in just a few weeks!

Yes! Label is not bad is already a candidate for Album Of The Year 2018, and I liked their recent digital singles too, so I’m pretty dang excited about this. So much so that I haven’t even watched this trailer so my first reactions upon listening to the whole thing can be genuine (aka so that if I do a sleepy review of this it gets the kind of weirdness that this group deserves).

“But Kerrie”, I hear you cry. “Didn’t they add a fifth member recently? Why are there only four of them?”

Yeah, about that …

She’s been fired.

Yup, after a lengthy and eventful tenure of one week, newbie Haruno Miru has been dismissed and most evidence of her existence has been removed from Banamon’s media. I couldn’t even find an actual statement from management about this. The given reason apparently was that management discovered some new information about Miru that deemed her impossible to work with. Doesn’t that add a tinge of tragic irony to the EP’s title, now?

As to the “discovery”, it was initially uncertain what it actually is. But this is a group who just this past year, held a fan party in a love hotel, had an indirect kissing event, and a sexual harassment scandal that may have actually been staged. I can only imagine that for a girl to be fired in such a way, the reasoning must either be something really wild or really mundane. And? Well, it looks like we’re steering towards the “wild” side of the spectrum:

It appears Miru is employed at some kind of high school girl themed “massage” parlor. Even the company tweet boasts about her single-week idol tenure. Um… well, I’m kind of speechless, I don’t know about you guys. But I hope Miru is happy, and I wish her luck for the future. God speed Miru, your seven days of service and your untimely exit will never be forgotten.

Homicidols.com does not– Actually, how the hell do you disclaim something like this? Is it real? A put-on? Whatever. It’s disclaimed. Yeesh.