This WTF Might Be the Most WTF in the History of Tuesday WTFs

Friends, you know how I like to get a little weird around here; the WTF Tuesday is mostly just an excuse to home in on something particularly strange.

I have a few candidates, but if you recall this past Weekender, I called out the newest A-minor debutantes, HIMEGOTO ZETTAICHI, for having put a new track on Soundcloud that was … well, it sounds nice. Like an idol song! Which is their business (or Daichi’s, I presume) to do as they see fit; I just thought it was a little out of character for the family that brings us Guso Drop and Screaming Sixties to be passing some tradol for the sake of it.

And then our dude Pukovnik Krv stepped to the plate to offer up this nugget: It sounds nice, but you gotta see the lyrics. And then he sent me a translation.

I mean, the song’s called “Stalker Talk” ffs:

I spotted you on the train looking so cute
My heart started pounding when our gazes met
It looks like we alighted on the same platform
But I don’t have the courage to speak to you…

Ah, it’s so vexing
Ah, I just can’t forget about you
Will you be on the train at the same time tomorrow?
Hmm, for now let’s just meet in our dreams. Goodnight ♡

The moment we passed each other by, do you remember me touching your hand?
I found your Twitter. Did you know that I’d followed you?
I went to the café where you ate something delicious and posted it on Instagram.
It’s got to be okay now, right? It’s okay for me to go to your house, right?

On my day off I found my way into your house
My heart started pounding whenever the phone rang.
Is there a man who’s like a boyfriend to you?
That guy’s flashy so it’s better if you were to break up with him.

Ah, the heartache
Ah, don’t betray me
I love you more than anyone
I’m currently guarding under your bed. Goodnight ♡

Is your voice being transmitted through your teddy bear’s ear?
Your mutterings on Twitter are mostly promoted Tweets…
Lying’s not a good thing, I’ll have to punish you a little bit
It’s got to be okay now, right? It’s okay to hug you, right?

Your beautiful hands, both lined up like ornaments.
Your beautiful face, stored in my freezer.
Your beautiful hair, carefully bound into a writing brush.
Lastly, all that was left of you I ate. I slowly ate you.

Happy Tuesday.

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5 thoughts on “This WTF Might Be the Most WTF in the History of Tuesday WTFs

  1. One of (many) reasons I listen mainly to Japanese music these days, despite having no knowledge of Japanese nor any desire to learn the language, is precisely because I can’t understand the lyrics. I like the sound of a human voice singing but 99% of music lyrics are vapid, meaningless or talking about (blech!) “feelings”.* Idol allows me to listen to (often) jolly pop tunes without cringing at the horrible words.

    But it does mean I sometimes miss moments of twisted genius. I’m undecided whether this is to be filed under “genius” or “horrible” though.

    *I’m aware this says more about me than about lyricists.

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