ANAL SEX PENiS Gets Graphic

All right, I’ll admit to having been a skeptic about the latest WACK unit to emerge. ANAL SEX PENiS, or ASP as I prefer to call them because I’m not some prurience-obsessed teenager and I have to worry about how and where my website’s going to show up in various people’s Google results, really did feel like a stupid gimmick at first. Yes, we were willingly falling for an obvious ruse, as usual playing along with one Watanabe J. for the sake of getting to the bottom of whichever kind-of-inexplicable-but-no-doubt-lucrative-and-enviable game he was playing this time around, but the thing about falling for even obvious ruses is that you still went there and in the interests of intellectual honesty you have to admit to yourself that you did, in fact, let yourself believe if only for the briefest of moments, like a kid old enough to know better unironically hating the heel. I mean, read this. The line between truth and kayfabe is always clearly there somewhere, but whether you find it in the place where it really is as opposed to where you assume it to be, therein lies the trouble.

But anyway! As ASP emerged as a bona fide actual, regular-ol’ idol unit (name notwithstanding), it also became clear that they had the musical chops. And of course they did — WACK can be and usually is a lot of things, but musically not-good is not one of them. Yes there’s a template, and no we don’t call it Kentacore because it’s so wildly diverse, but good and enjoyable and undeniably punk-inspired if not outright so are all true things to say about the product, and those are perfectly fine bars to set, and then we can leave up to you the question of whether you like and want to listen to ANAL SEX PENiS.

Anyway! ASP’s first album is arriving, and they’ve been trickling out ever more music on Soundcloud as is the wont of new WACK units, and then yesterday they dropped their first MV, which is pretty much also the clearest multisensory view we’ve had of them yet: Continue reading

A Friday Fun to Make Awards Season Much More Amusing

Last week’s fun made me emo.

Hey everyone, I’m back! I’ve been taking on-off breaks lately, partly because of IRL business and partly because last time I checked, twitter was nothing but an ongoing eruption of chaos and I frankly just didn’t want to ge involved with. Continue reading

When You’re Watanabe, Your Week Has a Theme

WACK never sleeps, apparently, and nor does its somewhat eponymous founder have time for your shenanigans or judgment. In fact, he stacked up extremely Watanabe moments for the week and delivered like has never seemed possible — and it’s only Wednesday, good lord.

This is a music website, so the most important news is that the latest flavor of BiS (to which I do refer derisively but actually find myself more in love with all the time) is releasing a new album, and here’s the first track, which you can download until the 10th on the link here, and also listen to in perpetuity:

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We Review Things: BiSH | ‘CARROTS and STiCKS’

BiSH - CARROTS and STiCKS

Sitting down to a first listen of the fifth BiSH album, CARROTS and STiCKS, the big question is: Which BiSH will predominate? The brazen punks who got kicked out of Tokyo Idol Festival? The potential game changers who released a two-minute thrash punk single as their major label debut? Or the commercial idols who promote cell phones and sing anime theme songs?

We know the punk is still in BiSH as demonstrated every time they let Ling Ling center and she does the emotional equivalent of kicking your teeth down your throat. At the same time, it’s hard to give punk cred to a group that’s signing exclusive deals with Apple to restrict the digital distribution of their own music. I certainly won’t begrudge a person for making a living off their art, especially in the crap ass world of Japanese entertainment where the vast majority of power and profits are concentrated in the hands a few management moguls who are far less benevolent than BiSH’s boss-who-we-love-to-hate, Junnoske Watanabe. And it’s not like those of us who have climbed aboard the BiSH train can cry about genre, aesthetic or ideological purity anyway. Watanabe has never hidden the fact that he is punk in the same way that Malcolm McLaren was punk: thumbing the nose of a conservative society is good fun and all, but only if you can make a buck (pound or yen) doing it.

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The EMPiRE Grows

After absolutely rave reviews from many of us (the people who truly matter), EMPiRE returns a week later with their second teaser track, “TOKYO MOONLIGHT”:

I feel like I should be more surprised that it’s a Kenta song than the fact that the lyrics were penned by a member, but, frankly, very little surprises me anymore, except in kayfabe, which I would never, ever break, except when I do.

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EMPiRE Is Coming, But First This Other Jerk

So while BiS was busy holding a streaming fan club live and reinstating Pour Lui via protest via squat (yes), EMPiRE was being set up for something. Based on the typically cryptic “SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AT 20:00” tweet that, when coming from WACK, never means what you expect it to, it is nonetheless turned in one’s brain into something fantastical and disappointing all at once. Hell, though unlikely, it could’ve even been a graduation announcement!

Instead, we get the cruelest of all musical teases. Yes, friends, you may in fact get your first listen to an official EMPiRE song, and you may in fact download not only that EMPiRE song and a lyrics sheet, but there’s a catch.

You literally gotta go through Watanabe to get them. Continue reading

Watanabe, Puppetmaster

I was hoping that BiS’s announced announcement this morning was going to be an MV or update on the new single or whatever, but it’s not one of those at all:

Auditions. Continue reading

The WACK Exhibition Fallout Was Actually Pretty Awesome

I’m an idiot and accordingly stayed up to watch the WACK Exhibition on Niconico Douga like a crazy person, and I did it because I wanted there to be some kind of fireworks coming out of the nearly-a-week-long WACK auditions.

For once, I was not disappointed!

Here’s your very brief recap: BiSH is WACK’s crown jewel; and also completely heartless, because while everybody else was literally sobbing, they were horsing around; Kamiya Saki only exists for Watanabe to treat her like shit; if you ever wondered if massive nuclear reptilian kaiju had feelings, wonder no more. Oh and a whole bunch of other stuff related to the auditions and exhibition and aftermath after the jump. Continue reading

Oh FFS, BiS Is Doing a Marathon Now, Too

Yeah.

I was like, “Oh, message from the boss, that’s not good, I hope …” and then it was a bunch of mundane thoughts and then Watanabe’s like “we have a day off, how about a 100km marathon?” Continue reading