Our good friend Garry from Idol Is Shit just so happens to have returned from a two-week stint in Tokyo where he got to experience the maddening joy and life-changing spectacle that is idol in the flesh. Literally! He shook hands and took photos with them and everything!

So how does a Scottish idiot abroad find himself awash in seas of idol goodness?

The guy on the door seemed pretty surprised that some white dude with a weird accent was there to see BiSH, but I got in with no problems.

What else?

I’m eternally grateful to Shidare from Yukueshirezutsurezure for putting up with my horrible Japanese and being very understanding when we had to bust out Google Translate so we could understand each other a bit better. … [M]aybe they were just jealous that Shidare had her arm wrapped around me when we were conversing …

AND?!

Go read the whole thing. Then remember that there are two more installments of this blockbuster coming (spoiler alert: the next includes Bellring Girls Heart, Oyasumi Hologram, PASSPO and something called Biss?), and prepare your butt for the explosions of jealousy sure to follow. Especially after you read the third part. Just sayin’.

Garry’s like the John Reed of idol fans. Dude follows stuff for a while from afar, up and heads to the center of the action to soak it in and experience it first-hand and tell others about it, and just so happens to be there for absolute peak shock.