“Say, why don’t more allegedly heavy idols ever get really, genuinely brutal?” is a question that I’m sure all of us ask ourselves from time to time; I probably do it at least once per day when I’m lamenting that very little terribly interesting has been happening for most of the year! PassCode gets close sometimes, Broken By The Scream has been a cruel tease, Checkmate will get in there, but what? WHERE’S THE DAMN FACE-MELTING, IDOLS?

Oh, Non and her comrades in Candye Syrup got us covered? And it’s extremely idol at the same time? DON’T MIND IF I DO!

Any time you see the words “IDOL OF DEATH”, you should prepare for something

Gosh darn did I need that. I needed more punk noise, more genuine death vocals, more random chugging and big fat stupid sounds and a suitably bubbles-and-cream idol chorus to boot. They even busted out the ol’ dual-harsh vocalist trick (like Butcher Babies, only way better!) with m!sa, who I did not know until just now but suddenly want to hang out and discuss current affairs with.

I’d been giving Candye Syrup a little bit of a hard time — they tend to run really up and down with me — but I could not endorse this track and video more. This takes me back to first seeing “Hirari Hira Hira”, you know?

Also, Non is basically a superhero and if I need to personally bankroll her career to keep her from becoming another Shinozaki Kokoro or Ruru Summertree, I’ll do it.