That is the lukewarmest of takes, amigos, and it’s just about all the GAF that I can muster; and speaking of muster, when the most exorcised about “HiDE the BLUE” that I could get for the Weekender was to acknowledge that, yes, they’re just making “Orchestra” on loop until people make them stop, you know that I’m pretty much out of GAF.

Also case in point: This happened yesterday, and seeing it filled me with zero urgency.

Well that’s nice. It is! It’s a very nice, easy ballad, with a heartwarming MV. It’s also disappointing and — sadly, I know this because I tried to get through it plural times to convince myself that this was worth the time, and gave up in the middle of the second attempt — boring!

Like, I get that BiSH is beholden to nobody but BiSH (well, and WACK and Avex), and that the bottom line is ultimately the most important thing — without yen, there is no BiSH, and yen come from doing things that more people want to buy. However, I also get that I am under no obligation to pretend that the group that made a fecal bukakke video, got kicked out of TIF and released a song called “DICK” is anywhere near as interesting as they were as recently as a few months ago, which was itself about half as interesting as they had been about a year prior, which was pretty much their peak as artists anyway, and I am therefore under no obligation to pretend that I personally find this work interesting.

Or, to put it more succinctly, if I wanted to listen to nice songs with nice MVs, I’d be concerning myself with a whole lot else in idol and not ostensibly idols who are rebellious and/or loud, and certainly not when said idols who are ostensibly rebellious and/or loud increasingly get away from that. Like, what happened to “SHARR”?

It’s not even just the one song and one MV, though. It’s perfectly acceptable to have a single that’s straight radio filler if you can produce on the B-side, and/or vice versa I guess; this is a double A-side that has the combined energy level of the first verse of “Spark”. It’s an embrace of BiSH the Brand as primary commodity, Budokan no doubt squarely in Watanabe’s sights at this point.

Oh crap, here goes the GAF coming back

You know, I used to have this thing where BiSH was next. Not in the way that Idol Group X could have a decent niche fandom outside of Japan, or even pick up some minor viral notoriety; no, I thought they could arguably do Babymetal one better, as their music is more broadly appealing and doesn’t necessarily require committing to anything more than wanting to hear music. I had them fantasy-booked for SNL, whereupon they would first do the “Hoshi ga” thing (thrice, natch, to increasing confusion for all audiences involved), then roll with “All You Need Is Love” for their second time on stage. People — pop fans, rock fans, the culturally curious — would be very excited, and then they’d meet all of us weirdos online and they’d learn more and it’d be really fun, and people would still refer back to “BiSH on SNL” for years as a watershed moment.

I was listening to GUERiLLA BiSH, of all things, when I saw yesterday’s MV release happen. In my list of full BiSH albums, it’s my personal least favorite (behind even last summer’s EP). “GiANT KiLLERS” was the track that was on. I thought for a brief second about how I wasn’t all that wild about it at first, but found really undeniable energy in the song, and being able to mentally match it with Atsuko’s gleeful murder spree during recall is always fun. And then I thought, wow, remember when you thought that Tarantino-esque revenge short film and wota-focused song were just kind of there? Man, I was so naive then.

I’m sure this is going to sell like hotcakes.