Explaining Your Confused Feelings about the New GANG PARADE MV

INT. -WACK HQ, December 2018-

-GANG PARADE are holding their annual joint Christmas/Bad Chiiin’s Bad Birthday bash. The office is decorated in a weird mishmash of Christmas and kid’s birthday party decorations. Kamiya Saki is handing out presents in a Santa costume. Yamamachi’s diminutive frame struggles to hit the pinata that looks suspiciously like Pour Lui. Maika has been knocked out by just 2 cups of mulled wine and SiS are pulling Christmas crackers. The birthday girl sits content atop an office chair decorated with tinsel as she is approached by a familiar yet unnerving man-

Watanabe: Happy birthday-slash-Christmas, Haruna!

Haruna Bad Chiiin: Thanks, Mr. Watanabe! Did you get me anything?

Watanabe: But of course! I’ve bought you the very best gift money can buy!

Haruna: Wowee!! You really got me a Hachimals Mystery Egg!?

Watanabe: Nope! We made a music video for that song you composed!

Haruna: Wow! Thanks Watanabe! What’s it like?

Watanabe: Well, see, you’re barely in it at all.

Haruna: Huh? Um… Okay…

Watanabe: Actually, GANG PARADE as a whole don’t show up much. We just filmed some much hotter girls on their vacation and used that instead.

Haruna: What??

Watanabe: Also we made the whole video as weirdly sexual as possible.

Haruna:

Watanabe: We used special effects to make Coco pay homage to that This Is Not A Business MV with the horny lady! You remember famous former WACK unit, This Is Not A Business, right?

Haruna: WHO???

Watanabe: Congratulations Bad Chin!

Haruna: This is the worst birthday present ever! I hate you Watanabe!

-Or at least, this is how I’m imagining this whole thing turned out-

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