It’s time, it’s time! Literally dozens of fans are pouring into Homicidols Arena to witness today’s epic matchup between our challenger, Himari from NECRONOMIDOL, and the currently reigning and herself kind of new Official Oshimen of Homicidols.com, Queen of the Scene
and Mother of Dragons Saki from 2&!
The Commish has the mic down at ringside; let’s see what he has to say.
MANIAC: Welcome, humanoids. We’re going to make this simple today. Himari … well, nobody should be allowed to use those kinds of foreign objects in a battle royale. Conversely, I like keeping my blood in my body, so she stays. Saki, you have every right to be here, but people are still kind of sore about how that all went down.
So I thought I’d make this interesting. Instead of just one simple, straightforward contest, the two of you are going to face off in something that I’m calling —
Three Levels of Hell
That’s right! This is a best-of-three smash-em-up with a 9-hour time limit. It looks like this:
- 9:00 a.m.-noon EDT, one fall, traditional match
- 1:00-3:00 p.m. EDT, one fall, Lumberjill match
- 4:00-6:00 p.m. (or thereabouts), one fall, Tables, Ladders and Chairs rules (no disqualification)
Manage your energy, idols and idol fans. It’s a long day ahead, you may need to cooperate. Keep your eye on #QueenOfTheScene to participate when the time is right!
What a bloodbath! Hanako-san was too busy spitting food onto the audience to notice that all of NECRONOMIDOL slipped into the ring and stomped poor Saki for the better part of an hour. WHO HIRES THESE PEOPLE! Needless to say, the score now stands Himari 1 – Saki 0.
A stunning thrashing has occurred in Homicidols Arena! To and fro, from rope to rope, has Himari tossed Saki like a rag doll … which is appropriate, as Saki is a very tiny person! And every time she slipped out of the ring, the raging torrent of abuse from the combined Necroma and Codomomental members only added to her tortures.
As the final slipped to zero, Himari stood triumphant in the center of the ring. Her compatriots outside rolled Saki’s limp form back into the squared circle. Himari prepared her finisher … pulling from her garter the same chainsaw she’d used to such great effect in the battle royale!
Saki laid, a lump.
And as Himari moved in for the final blow, and a roar of anticipation roared from those in attendance —
“Wait just one second!” cried Hanako-san. “No foreign objects! Disqualified!”
“What! How did that get there?” the symbiotically haired denizen of the darkness protested. “That’s not mine!”
Hanako-san motioned for the bell to ring. “Disqualified! Disqualified!”
At ringside, the Spanish announcers were flabbergasted! “Who would dream of doing such a thing? This is a clear breach of etiquette! It’s not like Himari needed the help — everything was in her favor!”
From the floor, the Codomomental members hissed and spat their disdain as Hanako-san raised Saki’s lifeless arm. The BURST GIRLs and their WACK allies took the advantage and cleared the ring!
And with that, the score is tied Himari 1 – Saki 1!
It’s a TLC finale! Saki’s still feeling the effects of that thrashing that she only just survived last match, and with very little time to rest at that. Does she have the intestinal fortitude to hang in there and pull off the win?
The rules this time is that there are no rules. Does Himari want to use her chainsaw? She sure can! Does Saki want to pull a Honky Tonk Man and start swinging her guitar around? No problem! More importantly, though, the entire ring environment is now lousy with tables, ladders and chairs, any of which can be used at any time to knock the opponent senseless.
Saki is accompanied as manager by her old pal Zero-chan; Himari has original Queen Sari in her corner …
… and YOU humanoids will direct the action through them!
This final level of the Queen of the Scene, um, final will run for two hours, until 6:00 EDT. Each competitor will get to use a table once, a ladder once … and a chair twice. Every time one of those specialty blows is landed, it’s 10 points deducted from the recipient’s total.
Use the #QueenOfTheScene hashtag, and follow the action here. When you feel it’s appropriate, tweet “Saki with a chair!” or “Himari uses a ladder!” or some such. They each only get four total chances to use a weapon, so be smart about it — a person can’t go below zero, for instance, because that’s impossible. Coordinate with friends if you need to. #TeamSaki and #TeamHimari sound like nice ideas!
Incredible ladder spots!
— 錆びた赤 (@RustedRed___) July 20, 2018
— KERRiE EMPiRE (@weeaboowitch) July 20, 2018
— 錆びた赤 (@RustedRed___) July 20, 2018
The last idol standing is Queen of the Scene. WHO’S IT GONNA BE?!