Previously on Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon:
BYS totally isn’t an April Fools joke.
First Summer Uika forms a bitch alliance with her former captor and Michibayashi Rio to seduce their rivals.
Where’s Kamiya Saki? Hell if I know.
Nobody can escape the YouTube Dungeon, especially not Koshouji Megumi.
Or at least, that’s my interpretation. If you hadn’t guessed from the previous trainwreck, this whole column is just me watching the BYS vlogs with my very limited Japanese and trying to form some kind of coherent story behind them. And failing. But hey, you don’t have to read this! On with the continuation of this gripping tale:
Episode 9: A Very Special Blossom
In a rare bout of kindness, Pour Lui takes her captives Megumi and Tentenko out to see the cherry blossoms. Oh wait, looks like she was just using them as her hapless servants to leech food from the unsuspecting public! Screw grocery shopping, am I right?
Got some great Tenko reactions from this though.
Episode 10: Spring☆Panty
“Team Bitchy” find new captives for the dungeon, O̶s̶h̶a̶s ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶K̶a̶b̶u̶k̶i̶n̶ “Pikka Bront Brontal” and “Yolo Swag”. Last year’s yo-yo dieting shenanigans have thrown the Pourverlord’s body shape out of whack, causing none of her clothes to fit properly anymore. Therefore, the new captives are immediately sent to conduct the first national panty survey of Japan, because if you need new panties, you gotta do your research first.
Episode 10.5: Pretty Poison
Another special side-episode featured on Pikka Bront Brontal’s Youtube. Following a successful panty survey, “Team Bitchy and the bros” return to the dungeon to taste-test different types of poison and determine who will die first. Keep watching for a surprise appearance by another of Puu’s captives near the end!
Episode 11: Love Me Like You Puu
Pour Lui introduces Megumi to her “Red Room Of Pain” and in true 50 Shades fashion, they engage in the kinky act of … writing! Specifically, they plan out future goals for the dungeon, including kidnapping Jake Paul, 100km marathons (Puu please, you’re free from that torture now) and something involving “chinko” and “oppai” when they’re interrupted by a phone call. Who’s on the other line?
Episode 12: Deep And Moistures The Movie
It was Nozomi, telling Puu to check her god damn email once in a while! In her inbox lies an urgent message from Tentenko, informing them that she saw Jake Paul near Ototoy HQ! Determined to hunt down the next, and most high-profile captive, Pour and Nozomi rush over, but SHOCK! It was all a trap all along! Tentenko’s many henchmen are simply too much for Pour to handle and she is taken away to Tentenko’s Ototoy Dungeon, to be tortured endlessly by her “experimental” CD-R discography! How will she get out of this one?
Episode 13: No Diet, Just Die
Pour is dragged to the Ototoy dungeon, alongside Megumi just because at this point a dungeon without a Megumi is like a sunny day in Britain without shirtless middle-aged men. But a frantic Nozomi manages to steal the keys and scarper, locking Tentenko inside with her own disgruntled captors! Trapped for days on end with no hope of escape, they contemplate eating the plastic skittles set they’ve been playing with because “maybe they taste like skittles, the candy?”
Will Pour Lui and co. escape from the Ototoy dungeon?
What exactly is Nozomi planning?
When will Tentenko release her “Idols eating plastic” CD-R?
Find out next time? Don’t bet on it!