We Review Things Sleepily: 3776 | “3776 wo Kikanai Riyuu ga Aru to Sureba”

Last week, I was kindly informed that 3776’s Magnum Opus album, 3776 wo Kikanai Riyuu ga Aru to Sureba, was available for free on OTOTOY temporarily. Always one for a freebie, naturally, I downloaded it, and upon listening, I was like “Damn! This is a really great album!” and so Maniac responded, “Then review it”.

Two problems here:

  1. I suck at song reviews. They’ll all painfully boring and don’t go anywhere beyond “This is a pretty good song.”
  2. The album is three years old, making any kind of review totally irrelevant.

So, I had this ridiculous idea; I always come up with the best Friday Fun ideas when I’m half-asleep! YouTube dungeons, not so much. So, what would happen if I attempted to review an album (or more accurately, liveblog the album) on an hour of sleep? It wouldn’t be hard. My sleeping habits are atrocious anyway. As for the whole “three years old” thing? I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t even know this album was from 2015 until halfway through listening. I didn’t even know 3776 existed until OTOTOY informed me of this album’s existence. But one thing I do know, is Ide Chiyono (also known as 3776-chan in this review, as I was too tired to remember her actual name) is, according to her Last.FM profile image, the disaster girl meme.

Brian was invited to provide some input on 3776 as a bona fide expert, but he refused on the grounds that the piece would be funnier if it had less context.

Long story short, consider this shitpost-in-disguise an introduction to 3776 of sorts. As much of an introduction as a shitpost can be. But hopefully, we’ll be covering 3776 more in the future, because this was one of the most fun albums I’ve listened to in a long time.

So, onward with sleep-deprived Kerrie!

Track 1: [Introduction]

Its an intro. I’m normally one of those miserable old fogeys who skip the the intro songs and intermissions so sucks to be me, there’s 8 of them! This one was fine though. It sounds like 3776-chan is boogeying on down from space into a remote American desert somewhere. Like the spaceship beam is lowering her while she’s dancing like Commander Shepard while also keeping a calm commentary of what’s going to happen when she brings havoc on your poor, innocent cows.

Track 2: 登らない理由があるとすれば

Our little alien 3776-chan is now driving a convertible in the sunny 90s, when she was probably still a tiny little sperm cell, and there are daisies because there’s always daisies in 90s girly music videos. The sun is turning everything orange. 3776-chan is now a blonde suntanned beach bum. This song reminds me of cutesy 90s pop-rock is what I’m saying. Her voice is very endearing. Perfect for cute, slightly quirky songs like this.

Track 3: [IntervalA]

Oh! An interval! She’s back in alien mode again, but the happy 90s music mixing into the next track and I’m afraid. 3776-chan is now a blonde, sunkissed alien, occasionally stopping to smell the flowers but ends up shooting them instead. RIP daisies.

Track 4: 水でできている

This track makes me want to run through aforementioned American desert in a cape, which is probably a bad idea because 1: I’m running on one hour of sleep and 2: I can’t even handle the British heat right now, what makes me think I’m capable of running away from Japanese 90s schoolgirl alien woman 3776-chan slaughtering the daisies before she slaughters me too?

Track 5: [IntervalB]

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

(Awake Kerrie note: I think I was trying to imitate the beginning of this track)

Track 6: 洞窟探検

3776-chan has got me. I am on the sandy, gritty, desert ground, my eyes blinding my eyes, as 3776-chan skips around me in circles shouting something in Japanese. I should be despairing, but instead, I’m happy. 3776-chan gently bashes my head in with a rubber mallet. I’m slowly dying of dehydration.

Track 7: 避難計画と防災グッズ

I’m on 3776-chan’s spaceship. We’re in a high-speed chase right now, but I don’t know what from. Probably my loud neighbours who I’m trying to block out with this music right now. 3776-chan is singing about being an idol or something. A captive screams at her from the trunk of the spaceship. Do spaceships even have trunks like cars do? I suppose spaceships can be whatever they want to be. And that’s lovely. 3776-chan and her captive are arguing and screaming Or maybe that’s the neighbours. I am afraid and still dying of dehydration.

Track 8: 日本全国どこでも富士山

Mount Fuji babble. The instrumentals of this don’t make me think of Mount Fuji. They make me think of calculators. It’s a nice song though. Could imagine this being an album track on an early-ish Kyary album if 3776-chan didn’t randomly shout during it. Nor the hip-hop break. Those hip-hop beats are smooth. This song is all over the place. Or maybe I’m too tired to comprehend whats happening.

Track 9: [IntervalC]

And now a word from our sponsors.

Track 10: 春がきた

This isn’t helping my needing to sleep. I want to sleep among the daisies. Not the ones 3776-chan brutally slew. It’s a very relaxing song. Like its name, it brings to mind late Spring, maybe early summer. When I’d go to school and wasn’t being beaten up for a change so I’d have a nap on my lunch break in the school field. Then the percussion got all erratic and I’m running away from the school bullies again. This needs to stop.

Track 11: 湧玉池便り

I clicked out of the browser just as this song was starting and thought I lost all of my progress. The mournful “aaahs” at the beginning really added to the tragedy of it all. Its fine, the browser is still here. But we are not. The space cops have gotten to us. We are floating slowly downward into nowhereness. Our spaceship has blown up. 3776-chan doesn’t care. Her singing relaxes me as I realise I’m about to be consumed by a black hole. “Save me” I say. 3776-chan smiles and keeps singing as she floats away. I get the sudden realisation that this is not a review. It is garbage. Maybe I should have lost all of my writing progress after all.

Track 12: 生徒の本業

We’re doing a conga line into the black hole now. This song is really happy and fun, much like the agonizing oblivion we are all dancing towards right now.

Track 13: [IntervalD]

I love this guitar riff, but the interval chanting is concerning me.

Track 14: 旅ふぉとセレクション

Travel Photo Selection indeed. I certainly feel like I’m waiting in line to get a new passport photo taken on the same day I’m supposed to catch my plane to France. That’s a terrible idea. I’ll never get my new passport in time.

Track 15: [IntervalE]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah

(Awake Kerrie note: See track 5)

Track 16: 八合目にゃまだ早い

I lost track because the binmen came by.  I don’t want to sleep anymore even though this song is kind of chill.

Track 17: [IntervalF]

What can I really say about interval songs, honestly? Thankfully this is the last one.

Track 18: 春は巡る

This is a lot different to the rest of the album, yet I still want to fall asleep in a pile of daisies. This album is daisy-core.

Track 19: 3.11

Honestly, what a great way to end the album. It started off wild, energetic, bizzarre, and now its ended with a calm ending by a log fire- oh wait, never mind. This is a schoolgirl anime now. Still a decent end to this album I guess.

20: [Ending]

What was that

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