Adventures in Pour Lui’s Youtube Dungeon #7

Previously on Pour Lui’s Youtube Dungeon:

Pour Lui joins BILLIE IDLE … or did BILLIE IDLE join Pour Lui?

Episode 34: Makeover Montage

A new era of BILLIE IDLE is upon us, and that means new costumes! But, being separated from WACK (while still having to put up with them) means that BILLIE IDLE has roughly the budget of a preteen garage band owned by Dingo Pictures. BILLIE IDLE have been stuck in green screen/cheap animation hell for three years! But thanks to the Japanese equivalent of B&M Bargains (probably), and the token “aesthetic” captives of the dungeon, Tenten and Kosho, maybe they can create something dynamic and beautiful for a new era. The Momose sisters will love their new costumes!

Episode 35: House Of Cards

The Momose sisters didn’t love their new costumes. Not even seconds after their reveal, Momo and Akira gagged, swore, set the costumes on fire and locked everyone but Megumi (Momo had already agreed to dye her hair) in the dungeon until it was time for dance practice! “Puu, for fuck’s sake, why did you give them a spare key?” Tentenko growled through the palm that was planted against her face. “Well, now that we’re all united as one group, I thought it would only be fair that I gave everyone else in BILLIE IDLE a spare key to my dungeon as a symbol of trust and unity,” Pour Lui explained. “Then where the hell is my key!?” Non piped up. “I didn’t get one either!” Uika fumed.

“Um… um… card games!” Pour Lui stuttered, as she shifted through the card pile.

Episode 36: Battle Idol Society

Nozomi checked her watch. “Still three hours until dance practice” she sighed.

“All the more time to play another card game!” the Pourverlord chucked.

“Puu, please, I’m sick to death of these bloody card games! We’ve been playing nothing but card games for seven hours!” Uika groaned, exasperated.

“Oh!” Tenko jumped, scrambling to pick up the leftovers from the ill-fated costume design foray. “I know! I know! Who’s up for some arts and crafts?”

“Yaaay” the others unenthusiastically droned in unison.

Then Netflix saw this and decided to revive Robot Wars for another season.

Episode 37: Makeover Montage Part 2

Oh, finally, a makeup tutorial, I was wondering how long until PuuTube jumped into that genre.

Episode 38: Makeover Montage Part 3

Did you know Saki likes to cosplay? You do now.

Episode 39: Makeover Montage Part 4: The Paddening

The Zozo suit is back! Or, more specifically, the Pourverlord got a new one. All in the name of giving Uipon the ultimate hentai waifu body! Like she’s not horny on main enough already.

How much more cursed can BYS get before we enter Elsagate territory?
What next for the Zozo suit?
Will Uika finally get laid?
Find out on Robot Wars: BYS Edition, streaming this fall on Netflix!

Puu’s Youtube Rival Of The Week

Who wants to watch Big Angel eat stuff?

Who Did It Best? BiS or BiS? Don’t Miss It!

That’s the worst title you’ve ever written, guy

Oh man, I dang near forgot about BiS! The original Maidens* of Mayhem have gone through a lot of changes over the past few months, not the least of which being this dual lineup business and the (I am so tired) BiS LEAGUE.** There have been plenty of questions about how that was going to work. Same songs? Same MVs? Apparently!

Here’s BiS 1st:

And BiS 2nd! Continue reading

Adventures in Pour Lui’s Youtube Dungeon #6

Previously on Pour Lui’s YouTube dungeon…
Pour Lui continues to humiliate her family.

EPISODE 28: Looking For The おちんこ

Pour Lui goes searching for dick pics while Brother Lui ponders how much effort it would take to officially estrange himself from this family.

EPISODE 29: Another Flashback Episode

Uika: Didn’t we just do this? Continue reading

Adventures in Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon #5

Previously On Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon
With the help of her mum, Pour Lui successfully re-kidnaps her former prisoners, tries to poison Megumi, and the shocking revelation that she is actually a witch!

Episode 23: Brand New YouTube Shit

Puu becomes poo!

Puu becomes poo!
PUU BECOMES POO!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DO YOU GET IT?!

P̰̝̘Ù̡̱̭̲̖̻͎Ú̝͚̞̣̱ͅ ̛̗̟̗̫B̼͞͞E̛̲̱̳̖͈̯̯͘̕ͅC̴̦̥̤͔͇͚̤͟O͙̼͙̤̲̘͇̩ͅM̶̘̲̯͎̤̀E̼̬͜S͖͇͡ ҉͍̲͖̣͉͖̥P̼̺̤̥̯͚̖̥͞͝O͎͎̭̱̤͖̜O̡͓͇͘͝

Episode 24: Buzzing Mama

In this heartwarming Mother’s Day special, Pour Lui buys Mama Lui a vibrator, makes her brother watch and is consequently grounded until June 6.

Episode 25: Filler Episode

With Megumi having fled to the UK and Saki now on the rebound with Haruna Bacchiin, Pour Lui gathers the remaining prisoners to reminisce about that time she made a supervillain costume and fans meme’d her.

Episode 26: Happy Nonday

Pour Lui did not give Nozomi a massager for her birthday, despite what that unsubtle crotch shot at the beginning might have led you to believe. At least Puu doesn’t just have a box full of sex toys lying around in case she needs to give someone a present. At least there’s that.

Episode 27: Drone Warfare

What’s that noise?

Could it be? The demons have finally come to take the Pouverlord away!!!

Or it could just be a drone, but I like my idea better.

Will Pour Lui ever learn how to use a drone correctly? Or will she be dragged into hell first?
Will Michel receive a vibrator from Lui as a wedding gift?

To be continued? Yes!

Puu’s Youtube Rival Of The Week

Since a lot of idols are setting up their own YouTube dungeons, I thought I’d have a little feature highlighting what YouTube idols have been uploading recently. And in celebration of Pour Lui’s addition to Billie Idle, this week we’ve got former Billie Idle sweetheart Yasui Yuuhi (Now going by the identity Mahiruno Yuzuko) showing us how she does her makeup. Subscribe to her, she deserves it!

Idol Cannot Contain the Power of a BILLIE IDOL Plus Pour Lui, Which Is Real OMG

LUI is IDLE would be an amazing title for ths post, but it’s the opposite!

It turns out that the only thing that Pour Lui can’t do well is retire. Yes, friends, despite having tied up her BiS career twice now, and despite being old enough to be mother to most of RIOT BABY, Lui, idol GOAT and progenitor of most things loud and bloody and rude, is coming back … with BILLIE IDLE:

Oh, and there’s going to be a new album, whatevs

Continue reading

Your Homicidols Weekender #78 1/3, Babymetal Edition

So do forgive me for beating the Babymetal drum, but the fact remains that every Su-metal exhalation is cause for recognition among Western wota of pretty much any stripes, and all that to-do from the other day has culminated in a ton of fallout, not to mention thinking and angsting and so on. I thought, rather than try to keep up with it all in real time, why not use the patented format of the Weekender to sum up the rest of Babymetal’s week?

And Here We Are

The first thing that must be acknowledged is that Koba all but doubled down on the doubters yesterday:

And was immediately clowned right the hell back. What a brutal response. Continue reading

Adventures in Pour Lui’s Youtube Dungeon #4

Previously On Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon
Everyone spent the entire week trapped in the Ototoy Dungeon until Tentenko finally let them go.
With Momoland out of the picture, Kamiya Saki has finally joined the chaos.

Episode 18: Mama Mia! Here We Go Again

The morning after the previous episode, Pour Lui wakes up, alone in her bedroom. Well, not completely alone.

“Get up you lazybones, it’s almost midday!”

“But muuuuum,” whines Pour Lui, rubbing her eyes. Did she just dream the entire Ototoy Dungeon arc? Where is everyone?

Mama Lui explains to her daughter that, while arguing with Megumi over the upcoming UK trip, everyone else just up and left, including Koshouji herself, leaving Pour Lui arguing with the wall until she eventually just passed out from ranting.

“Megumi told me where you were, so I signed her Dungeon Leave permission forms on your behalf. She’s a nice girl, that Megumi. Why don’t you join her idol group instead of sitting at home making these silly YouTube videos?”

Pour Lui was fuming. Everyone was gone! Who can she bully for YouTube views now? “Mum!” she demanded. “To the dungeon! I have a plan to get everyone back! But first, we need to make a supervillain costume!”

“Why don’t you get a real job?” Mama Lui sobbed.

Continue reading

I’m Mostly Curious about How Others Are Taking the New Babymetal Song

Oh neat, did my kvetching actually accomplish something?* You may have been caught up in the furor earlier today when a new Babymetal song (“Distortion!”) briefly appeared on YouTube before being taken down. Not fast enough to discourage a few quick-fingered downloaders, apparently, as it was the opposite of difficult to track down over the past several hours.

At Tokyo Midnight, though, Amuse pulled the trigger and gave us the first significant new Babymetal in well over two years:

Continue reading

The MOMOLAND Saga Ends in Withdrawal

For the last couple of days, folks around the Idolsphere have been quite concerned regarding the whereabouts of BiS member Momo, who had disappeared from public view after apparently being seen getting on an airplane. Because it’s BiS and therefore WACK, and because it’s potentially serious business, I wasn’t going to immediately suspend justifiable disbelief and run with it, but it turns out that Momo did in fact go AWOL, and has in fact withdrawn from the group:

Fatigue. Understandable. Good luck to you, Momo!

Adventures in Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon #2

Previously on Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon:
BYS totally isn’t an April Fools joke.
First Summer Uika forms a bitch alliance with her former captor and Michibayashi Rio to seduce their rivals.
Where’s Kamiya Saki? Hell if I know.
Nobody can escape the YouTube Dungeon, especially not Koshouji Megumi.

Or at least, that’s my interpretation. If you hadn’t guessed from the previous trainwreck, this whole column is just me watching the BYS vlogs with my very limited Japanese and trying to form some kind of coherent story behind them. And failing. But hey, you don’t have to read this! On with the continuation of this gripping tale:

Episode 9: A Very Special Blossom

In a rare bout of kindness, Pour Lui takes her captives Megumi and Tentenko out to see the cherry blossoms. Oh wait, looks like she was just using them as her hapless servants to leech food from the unsuspecting public! Screw grocery shopping, am I right? Continue reading