A few years ago, if you’d told me that I’d ever be in a position to neither understand nor have strong feelings about a thing that BiS was doing, I’d raise an eyebrow poorly because that’s not a skill that I possess, and then I’d laugh at the notion because BiS died in 2014, friend, and you’d remind me that actually Pour Lui raised a new version in 2016 and I’d be like, oh right, and now she’s in BILLIE IDLE and the thing she made has become some weird 48g product with warring teams or something, I almost forgot about that!
Anyway, BiS League is that warring teams thing, and whichever members get the most love from fans will be in BiS 1st, and the rest cast into the detritus pile that will be BiS 2nd. Like I said, I don’t totally get it, but that’s fine; the same statement could be made about half of the things in idol. If you’re interested in participating in the straw poll, you can here now:
Oh man, I dang near forgot about BiS! The original Maidens* of Mayhem have gone through a lot of changes over the past few months, not the least of which being this dual lineup business and the (I am so tired) BiS LEAGUE.** There have been plenty of questions about how that was going to work. Same songs? Same MVs? Apparently!
First things first: I am way too tired to try to do much of anything with the new BiS lineups, so let’s all thank John for handling that adroitly. The new members have names! The all members have a new look! My girl Zeela is starting to weird me out a little bit! It’s fine!
Second things second: This is all predicated on the BiS League results and the first post-Pour Lui single, which … I guess is for both groups? Is one secretly like the A team and the other the B? Will there eventually be an all-star game? Again, way too tired.
I have kind of been waiting for this announcement, it always find it interesting what names idols will be given. Is that weird? Anyway, BiS 1st and BiS 2nd have announced their full lineups and I want you all to have the information.
Previously on Pour Lui’s Youtube Dungeon: While trying to kidnap Jake Paul, Pour Lui and co. are lured into Tentenko’s Ototoy dungeon! Including Tentenko herself! Will they ever escape? I sure hope so, because Megumi is supposed to be going to the UK soon.
Episode 14: Cards Against Puumanity
It’s been three days since Pour Lui, Tentenko and Megumi got trapped in the Ototoy dungeon. All of a sudden, the door burst open! It’s Nozomi!
“I forgot my coat”
“Non, it’s been three days since you locked us in here, and only now are you coming back for your coat?”
Another familiar face storms through the door; First Summer Uika.
“Yo Puu, Non-tan said you’d be here. Listen, do you have any of that orange-flavoured arsenic left, or did those two loser men drink it all?”
“HAHAHA, GOODBYE SUCKERS!”
Tentenko leaps up, and punches Nozomi right in the nose! The shock prompts Nozomi to drop the only key, which Tenko swiftly grabs and runs away, locking the other four inside! Again!
After a brief stunned silence, Nozomi eventually chimes, “So, question. Does anybody even bother, you know, just trying to escape? Or are you all seriously so lazy that you’d rather just sit here and slowly starve to death than actually try to make the effort of running when this shit happens?”
Pour Lui ponders Nozomi’s question for a moment, eyes glazed over in deep thought. After a few seconds of quiet, she calmly states “let’s play a card game”. The other three groan in exasperation.
For the last couple of days, folks around the Idolsphere have been quite concerned regarding the whereabouts of BiS member Momo, who had disappeared from public view after apparently being seen getting on an airplane. Because it’s BiS and therefore WACK, and because it’s potentially serious business, I wasn’t going to immediately suspend justifiable disbelief and run with it, but it turns out that Momo did in fact go AWOL, and has in fact withdrawn from the group:
I didn’t watch the WACK Expo. After the thing had been announced, and the overall shape of the auditions made, it was pretty obvious how the whole shebang would be conducted and concluded, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I allowed myself to selectively enjoy the auditions from extra-afar, taking it all in via Twitter and the occasional side conversation; once my girl Trivago was finally, mercifully euthanized, I didn’t care enough to even do that.
When I woke up today, the event was all in the past. Things had been done, reactions had, tears shed, etc. Was Twitter buzzing? It sure was! Were the takes flying? They sure were!
And all according to plan. Like any good wota, this is our moment to MIX, to respond to the ainote, to play our part in the interactive ritual that is being an idol fan. We happily separate ourselves from our money to experience closely controlled environments of put-on cruelty and manicured triumphs. We call out the things that are bad or stupid, and hand over cash, attention and appearances of generalized support in exchange. We are all incredibly easy marks.
Guess what? I definitely wasn’t ready for what BiS was going to look like sans the Progenitor of Progenitors (Pour Lui, you goofs), nor for a whole mess of other things, and definitely not at 7:00 a.m. But hey, the “WHOLE LOTTA LOVE” MV has arrived and, aside from confirming that is has nothing to do with Zeppelin, it threw me for a whole writhing cascade of loops:
It’s time to start to say goodbye, apparently. BiS has placed both tracks from their re-major debut and final single with their founder, the grandest dame of them all and likely part of the string-pulling machinery at WACK, Pour Lui, out into the world for completely free listens:
I just keep giggling about this. I really don’t know.
You tell me. Honestly. What the hell all is going on here? Idol Cannonball Run: The Motion Picture would create the single hottest holiday toy craze in history — vomit-inducing hot sauce! ill-fitting fitness wear! gratuitous bikini tops! — if it lived up to half of its potential. Like, AV vs. MV? More like Pour Lewd amirite?Continue reading →