The Elite Eight Are Ready for Their Shining Moment, but the Survival Challenge Lurks

INT. CORENAMENT HQ – NIGHT

As the final results of the Sweet Sixteen are reckoned, The Committee is in furious discussion

DAEMON: This is absolute madness. The fix was clearly in!

CHRIS: But who would do that?

VIZ MAJOR: Honestly, I’m okay with this.

RAIN: You would be!

A punch is thrown

MANIAC: Gentlemen, gentlemen. What evidence do you have that the fix was in?

RAIN: (throwing receipts onto table) These money orders that were sent to some of the referees?

DAEMON: The fact that some jerk calling himself Shallow Face called me to say that he was paying for double points for 2&.

CHRIS: That does explain the large envelope full of money that somebody dropped in front of me the other day.

VIZ: Still okay with this.

MANIAC: I see. Let us soberly consider the implications and ways that we can make this competition more fair, more inclusive and way more weirder.


What a couple of days of action! The Sweet Sixteen did not disappoint. Were there fireworks? There sure were! Were there shocking upsets? Galore! Are the Bosses a little dejected and doing that hangdog thing? You bet! Is anybody satisfied? No human entities!

The Elite Eight have been chosen:

Note! 2& did in fact defeat Yanakoto Sotto Mute, but Bracket Boss Daemon looked at the field, looked at the pending matches, and decided to snap-resurrect NECRONOMIDOL to take Saki’s place.

Is she eliminated? Hell, is anybody actually eliminated? Not really! To keep things interesting (and to slake my incredible thirst for the chaotic arts), The Committee has decided to introduce the Corenament Survival Challenge:

That’s right! We’re going double-elimination the rest of the way out! In fact, 2& gets a lifeline, and Candye Syrup got the call-up to fill in the bracket spot that Kamen Joshi, now twice losers, had to vacate.

Are you not entertained? Don’t you think it’d be nice to send Kerrie money? If you don’t want to become a Patron, why not Ko-Fi Kerrie?

For those of you unfamiliar with the format, those who win will continue their inexorable march toward the championship; those who lose must battle among themselves to progress to a chance to enter the final round — you’re still in until you lose twice. 2& will get an additional lifeline in the bottom half, seeing as how she hasn’t lost yet, but Necroma can’t lose again despite being on top. Make sense? Probably!

Today and tomorrow we find our “Final” Four; beginning Monday, the loser’s bracket kicks into gear and we’ll swap around until we get down to a pre-winner who’ll enter a true final against the winningest loser, whereupon the same double-elimination rules apply (so there could be two title fights, so to speak).

We’ll stick with the video format; have at it!

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