The 2017 Homicidols Corenament: The Primer

Hello friends! Are you ready to Corenament?

‘Tis the season not for snow and pudding and snow and caroling, but for idols to vie for the title of Best Idol. Last year’s Corenament was different, sure, but it was also … rudimentary. Straightforward. Easily manipulated. Frustrating for me! So we’re going to do it differently this time around.

The Corenament takes its inspiration from the NCAA basketball tournaments (but not the stupid NIT), in which 68 teams (pared to 64 for the actual bracket) go through single-elimination hell on the way to the legendary Final Four and the crowning of a champion. Last year’s Corenament was satisfied with 16 entries, and that’s just silly, because we can do way better than 16 at this point.

Like the Tournament, entrants will be a combination of “conference” champions and at-large bids; like the Tournament, we’ll use seedings to determine the shape of the bracket. Like the Tournament, there will definitely be upsets galore and heartbreaking collisions between beloved programs. And, just like the Tournament, people are going to get mad about seedings and stuff!

It’ll be great!

So here’s how it’s going to go down:

I’ve taken just about everything that’s ever appeared on ye olde Homicidols.com and broken it out into reasonably sensible “conferences.” The idea there is to gather likes with likes, more or less, with a very college basketball-like uneven distribution of talent and some randomization to take into account how things like weird bounces, freakish injuries and recruiting scandals can throw a wrench into any otherwise flawless system.

The NCAA conference tournaments have in some cases already begun, but the big kids are on next week, which is when we’re going to do the same. Except, because we have way fewer conferences than the NCAA and need to limit the at-large entries somewhat, we’re going to give automatic bids to the regular season champions of each conference in addition to the “tournament” winners, and then use the regular season standings plus tournament results to determine the pecking order for the at-large bids. Also, the conferences are not evenly weighted on purpose, because screw fairness, this is war.

Make sense? PROBABLY NOT!

Anyway, here are your conferences at the end of the regular season, with standings determined by Kerrie’s famous Hunger Games simulator.

Kawaiicore East Conference

E-yell
Minna no Kodomo-chan
Tokyo Rockets
30POSSE
Batten Show Jo Tai
Naniwa Rokkasen

Kawaiicore West Conference

Attain Music
Party Rockets GT
DEVIL NO ID
Devil ANTHEM
DEVIL GUN
PANDA MIC
Kimi to Utatane

The Clash Legacy Conference

Billie Idle
Payrin’s
RIOT BABY
Malcolm Mask McLaren
PiGU
Tick-tic
THE SPUNKY
Screaming Sixties

The SHiT Conference

PLIC PROCK
Alloy
Mistress
Zenbu Kimi no Sei Da
MAPLEZ
PassCode
BiSH
969
Chemicari
KIRAKIRA GERIRA
yandoll
Broken by the Scream

The nerve Conference

SHiX
Sugartrap
Not Secure, Loose Ends
BiS
Bokura no Oyugi
Kitakaze Impact Choque!
C-Style
Yamitsuki Company
Guso Drop
NEVE SLIDE DOWN
DAIDAIDAI
DeadEyes

The Breeders Conference

Gokigen Teikoku
Koutei Camera Gal
uijin
There There Theres
Yanakoto Sotto Mute
sora tob sakana
amiinA
Osaka Shunkashuto
You’ll Melt More!

The Bjork Conference

Avandoned
Musubizm
Dots
ICE CREAM SUICIDE
GANG PARADE
Kupipo
Wonder Lander
Maison Book Girl
Hauptharmonie

The Go Go’s Conference

PIIIIIIIN
Himekyun Fruit Can
ayumikurikamaki
Yamaguchi Kassei Gakuen
Phantom Voice
Moecore Gakuen
GL TOKYO
Q’ulle
Candy GO!GO!
Up Up Girls

The KiTTie Conference

WA-Side
Yumemiro Adolescence
Team Syachihoko
STARMARIE
GRATIA-ALA
PASSPO
MARiA
Predianna
Splash!

The Runaways Conference

Diamondollfly
Full Power Girls R
81 Moment
REGiNA KiSS
Aphrodite
Jeanne Maria
Maboroshi Karen GeNE
Babyraids JAPAN
Tsuyogari Sensation
Elfloat
Spark Road Show

The Fuck Duke Conference

Pour Lui
Kamiya Saki
Kisaragi Megumi
Chitti
Su-Metal
First Summer Uika
MAINA
Uetaka Yua

The Gonzaga Always Flames Out Conference

Tanio Sakurako
Rinahamu
Shidare
Haruka (PRGT)
Sakura Nodoka
Minami Nao
Rei (Guso Drop)
Kakizaki Risaki
Asuma Shiori

The Character Counts Conference

Moametal
Io
Coco Partin Coco
Kamiya Erina
Narasaki Yuri
Tsukino Moa
Aina the End
Yuimetal
Tachibana Anna
Mori Saki
liNGliNG*
Komachi
Okamoto Mai
Sari
KIKA FRONT FRONTAL
Hayashi Manatsu
Zenkimi Mashiro
Imada Yuna

The Perform Here Conference

Pop iD Cafe
Nippon Budokan
Extreme Idol Terror
Tokyo Dome
Heavy Sick Zero
Yokohama Arena
Tokyo Candoll
Cure Fes
Zepp DIVER CITY
@JAM
Idol Matsuri

The Better Than Butcher Babies Conference

FRUITPOCHETTE
Under Beasty
Desu.Rabbits
NATASHA
NECRONOMIDOL
JyuJyu
Lyric Holic
Cure
DEEP GIRL
The Idol Formerly Known as Ladybaby
Alice Liddell
DISDOL
The reanimated corpse of Mugen Regina
Babymetal
Iketeru Hearts

The Company Conference

Mad Magazine
Trash-Up!!
Codomomental
Showroom
A-minor
WACK
Aqbi Rec
Stardust
we-B
Fujiyama Project
Alice Project
Avex
One-to-One

The Joan Jett Conference

Ophelia 20mg
Yajima Mai
MiRi
Sakohata Aya
Takahashi Natsumi
Hanako-san
Yanase You
Like, Hate, Love

The Hayley Williams Conference

Hoshina Fumimi
Pikarin
Yuimaru
Ishido Natsumi
Nameless
2&
Ritsuka

The Men in Our Lives Conference

Tsunku
Bucho
Watanabe Junnosuke
the anonymous translator
Soezimax
Ricky Wilson
Ladybeard
KOBAMETAL

For what it’s worth, I didn’t know what to do with Kamen Joshi, but they’re getting an automatic bye into the final field by dint of having won last year, and that seed will be determined somewhat randomly.

The conference tournaments begin on Monday and will be staggered throughout the week to keep things from being completely stupid. The final field will be revealed on Sunday, March 12, and opening-round competition will begin that Wednesday.

These won’t be straight-up popularity contests, either; we’ll find all kinds of screwed-up ways to get the best idols of a particular conference into the correct pecking order, don’t you worry — songs, videos, albums, who’d beat who in a fight, etc.

Hold on to your butts. This is about to get stupid.

*I had originally left out liNGliNG, which was an oversight as opposed to a deliberate choice; at Richard’s suggestion on Twitter, she’s in the Character Counts Conference, with her place determined by me running her through a matchup simulator until she won three in a row. Good job, liNGliNG!

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21 thoughts on “The 2017 Homicidols Corenament: The Primer

  1. Haven’t even started yet and I’m already having terrible conflicts anticipating the moment I’m forced to choose between favorites. I can’t bring myself to break Avandoned or Dot’s hearts….

    Also, Ricky vs. Tsunku vs. Watanabe. What a time to be alive……. 😀

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    • I was telling a friend about this the other day. “Do people get competitive about it?” they asked. “It’s more like, I enjoy forcing them to choose between their favorites,” was my answer.

      What I’m actually rooting for is that the bracket comes together in such a way that the final is somehow a producer against a venue. That would be too damn much.

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    • I’m counting 19 conferences add in Kamen Joshi that’s 20 “conference winners” and 44 at large bids if it’s a 64 team field or 48 if using the 68 team field and 2 play in games.
      FWIW the NCAA Tourney has 31 Conference champs and 37 at large bids in the 68 team field.

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      • Scratch that the NCAA has 32 automatic bids and 36 at large bids. I hate the play in games, they always screw me up.

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  2. Looking closer at the conferences how did Momoko Gumi Company not make The Company conference?

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  3. Just getting a chance to look at the brackets…and I have just 3 words: fuck. you. maniac.

    I’m of course joking (I don’t even know where you live, let alone where your bedroom is :P)…but seriously…Sari OR Yuna?! Passcode OR Zenkimi?! Q’ulle OR YKG?!?! UNDERBEASTY, NECROMA, OR FRUITPOCHETTE?!?!?!?!?!?!

    You are not a nice person.

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