High-stakes Drama the Likes of Which You’ve Never Seen!

I just keep giggling about this. I really don’t know.

You tell me. Honestly. What the hell all is going on here? Idol Cannonball Run: The Motion Picture would create the single hottest holiday toy craze in history — vomit-inducing hot sauce! ill-fitting fitness wear! gratuitous bikini tops! — if it lived up to half of its potential. Like, AV vs. MV? More like Pour Lewd amirite? Continue reading

Yui’s Solo Debut Is the Best Outcome of the WACK Thing

Hey, a couple of days late never hurt anybody. Folks have spilled a ton of tears and ink and whatnot over the WACK solo debut election results, which could not have been less surprising overall (my girl Chitti taking #1, just a tiny bit off expectation). For me, though, it was the awarding of a solo debut to the #16 finisher, Yui Ga Dokuson, that took the cake.

John with the overall details:

Well, WACK had their vote to determine who gets a solo debut release. The show was about two hours long on niconico. A couple twists and turns, pretty uneventful…… almost.

via WACK – Solo Debut Voting, A Bit Odd — Straight From Japan

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It’s a Shame That This Is the Only ‘Spark’ MV That We’ll Ever Get

They warned us. They warned us, and yet the world was unprepared not just for the musical stylings of one Watanabe Junnosuke and his long-time partner, Matsukuma Kenta. Even when the track was announced as the kick-off to that WACK shuffle album, we were unprepared. And now, the wages of our inattentiveness are wrought:

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The Joke’s on Us for Joking about the WACK Shuffle; Election Impending

Well, at least all of that sudden noise is going to result in something more than a cynical cash grab.

Building on the (deserved) reception of SAiNT SEX and (sigh) the WACK shuffle album, the two-headed troll called Watakuma Kennosuke, in conjunction with the suits at avex, is going to hold … an idol election:

The top two vote-getters will get a solo single*; yes, the voting is facilitated by buying lots of CDs. Continue reading

IDOL is LAZY, Apparently

I kid, I kid. You know that I’m pretty eagerly looking forward to whatever it is that WACK ultimately gets around to releasing from its stable, maybe except for EMPiRE, but especially BiSH now that Dickhead called the as-yet-unannounced album a “masterpiece” (he also teased new BiS auditions, for what that’s worth).

Anyway, the point is, when I see that there’s going to be a shuffle unit best-of-plus-covers-plus-etc CD coming out …

… but not, you know, actual albums or singles or anything, I feel a little let down. Continue reading

The EMPiRE Grows

After absolutely rave reviews from many of us (the people who truly matter), EMPiRE returns a week later with their second teaser track, “TOKYO MOONLIGHT”:

I feel like I should be more surprised that it’s a Kenta song than the fact that the lyrics were penned by a member, but, frankly, very little surprises me anymore, except in kayfabe, which I would never, ever break, except when I do.

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EMPiRE Is Coming, But First This Other Jerk

So while BiS was busy holding a streaming fan club live and reinstating Pour Lui via protest via squat (yes), EMPiRE was being set up for something. Based on the typically cryptic “SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AT 20:00” tweet that, when coming from WACK, never means what you expect it to, it is nonetheless turned in one’s brain into something fantastical and disappointing all at once. Hell, though unlikely, it could’ve even been a graduation announcement!

Instead, we get the cruelest of all musical teases. Yes, friends, you may in fact get your first listen to an official EMPiRE song, and you may in fact download not only that EMPiRE song and a lyrics sheet, but there’s a catch.

You literally gotta go through Watanabe to get them. Continue reading

What the FXXK: We Don’t Deserve This WACK Collaboration

The things that I wake up to:

What the ever-loving–

Oh sweet baby Jesus. Continue reading

The Masks Are Off; Now It’s Time to See What EMPiRE Can Do

I guess Watanabe got bored with waiting for the magical 15,000-follower-per-member threshold to be met, or he changed the rules on the fly again, or Avex ran out of patience, or something, because here’s your EMPiRE, unmasked:

COUNT THE GIRLS YOU KNOW

I saw Midoriko first and wondered if how she was photographed would be indicative of what the group’s overall look would be like:

But I guess not. I’m sure that we’ll see soon enough. Continue reading

So Who Wants to Put Bets on the Buildup, Event and Aftermath of WACK Fes?

This one almost slipped by me yesterday, which is funny considering that I’ve been trying to watch BiS/H/EMPiRE like a hawk over the past week for things that I think are inevitable but suddenly seem kind of evitable. Anyway, December 8:

The last time there was a WACK event of quite the type, it gave us The Trade, The Idol Eventually to Be Named EMPiRE and wasted a bunch of time from an audition process that actually changed very little for the company but probably sold Niconico a bunch of temporary subscriptions. Well, also, there was the family reunion: Continue reading