IDOL is LAZY, Apparently

I kid, I kid. You know that I’m pretty eagerly looking forward to whatever it is that WACK ultimately gets around to releasing from its stable, maybe except for EMPiRE, but especially BiSH now that Dickhead called the as-yet-unannounced album a “masterpiece” (he also teased new BiS auditions, for what that’s worth).

Anyway, the point is, when I see that there’s going to be a shuffle unit best-of-plus-covers-plus-etc CD coming out …

… but not, you know, actual albums or singles or anything, I feel a little let down. Continue reading

The EMPiRE Grows

After absolutely rave reviews from many of us (the people who truly matter), EMPiRE returns a week later with their second teaser track, “TOKYO MOONLIGHT”:

I feel like I should be more surprised that it’s a Kenta song than the fact that the lyrics were penned by a member, but, frankly, very little surprises me anymore, except in kayfabe, which I would never, ever break, except when I do.

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EMPiRE Is Coming, But First This Other Jerk

So while BiS was busy holding a streaming fan club live and reinstating Pour Lui via protest via squat (yes), EMPiRE was being set up for something. Based on the typically cryptic “SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AT 20:00” tweet that, when coming from WACK, never means what you expect it to, it is nonetheless turned in one’s brain into something fantastical and disappointing all at once. Hell, though unlikely, it could’ve even been a graduation announcement!

Instead, we get the cruelest of all musical teases. Yes, friends, you may in fact get your first listen to an official EMPiRE song, and you may in fact download not only that EMPiRE song and a lyrics sheet, but there’s a catch.

You literally gotta go through Watanabe to get them. Continue reading

What the FXXK: We Don’t Deserve This WACK Collaboration

The things that I wake up to:

What the ever-loving–

Oh sweet baby Jesus. Continue reading

The Masks Are Off; Now It’s Time to See What EMPiRE Can Do

I guess Watanabe got bored with waiting for the magical 15,000-follower-per-member threshold to be met, or he changed the rules on the fly again, or Avex ran out of patience, or something, because here’s your EMPiRE, unmasked:

COUNT THE GIRLS YOU KNOW

I saw Midoriko first and wondered if how she was photographed would be indicative of what the group’s overall look would be like:

But I guess not. I’m sure that we’ll see soon enough. Continue reading

So Who Wants to Put Bets on the Buildup, Event and Aftermath of WACK Fes?

This one almost slipped by me yesterday, which is funny considering that I’ve been trying to watch BiS/H/EMPiRE like a hawk over the past week for things that I think are inevitable but suddenly seem kind of evitable. Anyway, December 8:

The last time there was a WACK event of quite the type, it gave us The Trade, The Idol Eventually to Be Named EMPiRE and wasted a bunch of time from an audition process that actually changed very little for the company but probably sold Niconico a bunch of temporary subscriptions. Well, also, there was the family reunion: Continue reading

Meet Your Project aW, Now EMPiRE, or Don’t Meet Them Quite Yet

Say, do you guys remember the WACK Expo back in the spring, when Saki and Aya got traded and Panluna and Fetus-chan got added to BiS and Watanabe announced that two of the auditioners were being added to a random upcoming WACK+avex project that was codenamed Project aW? And then nothing came of it and I made fun of it?

Well shut my mouth, it’s hear:

Now called EMPiRE and at least temporarily clad in some sort of cross between the most ridiculous hood ever, a bad take on a Klansman* Halloween costume and what looks vaguely like a Native American art motif from the U.S. southwest**, it’s the usual shenanigans for a Watanabe-led project — until they have 10,000 Twitter followers (I’m guessing for the group official), those identities stay hidden.

For now, all we get are YUiNA, YUKA, YU-Ki, MiDORiKO and MAYU as names. You can follow them on Twitter (use this). I hope that they don’t all individually need the follower numbers, as that took forever even with Ayuni D.

I was going to say that it’s a step up from the ol’ bare-skin-black-eyes thing, but … it really isn’t. I feel badly for everybody associated with that outfit, possibly except for Watanabe, as I’m assuming that he approved it and should be smacked in the head.

*”Secret Empire”, get it? Holy crap, that better not be the case

**For real, if any one of these things is especially Japanese and I’m just missing the boat, go ahead and say so; I’ll continue to point and laugh a little for the time being

Watanabe finally got his commupance

With the trainwreck that is the WACK auditions, my first promise when I was handed the keys to Homicidols.com was to get in contact at WACK HQ and make sure Watanabe finally got what was coming to him. That smug git has tortured idols in the name of publicity long enough! It’s about time we showed this man some humility.

So I arranged a special event, hosted by Pour Lui herself, with some help from BiS, BiSH, Gang Parade, the one girl from SiS that’s currently in idol purgatory, the other WACK eliminations who are also in idol purgatory; all for the sole purpose of expressing their feelings towards old Junnosuke himself; with paddles.

Exclusive video footage of the event below: Continue reading

RE:STUPiD Gets Another Music Video, Rerelease

Hi-diddly-ho readerinos! This week has been plenty dramaful on the WACK front; after the chaos that was the WACK three-way audition, Watanabe closed things off with the announcement that Re:STUPiD would be immediately re-recorded with the new line-up, with a new song that already has a music video. Wow, with how busy the WACK factory as been, you’d think they were sleeping in cars or something!

Our secret friend translated Watanabe’s official statement: Continue reading

A Funny Thing Happened During Last Night’s WACK Auditions

Despite my reservations (and desire to do anything but idol for an evening), I let Kerrie talk me into watching the all-group WACK audition marathon that began last night, and I let Garry talk me into joining the chat, and I have no agency of my own apparently because I’m blaming others for my choices.

That being acknowledged, thanks guys. You only get so many chances in life to hear Aina the End “audition” with GANG PARADE/Pla2me’s “Plastic 2 Mercy”:

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