What Happens When the Nicest Idols Meet the Creepiest Ones?

I’m beginning to take an interest in the Hello! Project. So sue me. No, I’m not going to let Kerrie corrupt my fragile homicidol mind; instead, I’m going to embrace every tradol’s foray into the world of darkness, and I’m going to celebrate it for all of its awkward and/or noisy goodness.

Please do forgive me for not citing my source on this one, as I can’t remember where it came from, but: Have you ever wondered what would happen if Morning Musume were to be counseled by the likes of Pikarin?


Skip ahead a bit to get to the magic

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The Hello! Project Samurai War Is Upon Us

I was quite surprised when Maniac messaged me earlier today specifically requesting me to write about this Angerme/Morning Musume ’17 joint thing. After all, aside from a few mentions in other articles, a segment of an April Fools joke and the fact that if it wasn’t for Hello! Project, Up Up Girls wouldn’t exist, I’ve been advised not to fangirl too much over Hello! Project in these parts. Granted I usually ignore it what with me being very attached to HelloPro. They were my first idol fandom, after all.

But you see, this is an exception. This has Hello! Project’s top rivals decked in Samurai Gear, ready to resolve their ongoing feud once and for all with a fight to the death!

“Prologue
In the age of the great idol war .Across this land warring idol countries ,ruled by a female crown have waged war. Expanding their own powers , fierce battles have spread across the country. To survive this world of war ,the idol countries have entered battle with soldiers named “fans” . Every day great battles are waged with singing ,dancing ,crying and great joy.

In this time the country of “Hello Pro” the young princess has risen up in rebellion against the empress of “Hello Pro”. Under their great generals the empress and princess shall make war ,rebellion in the heart of “Hello Pro”. With great force the rivals march into battle ,four corps have been assembled , each corps with their soldiers united to build a mighty army of war.

Now the time for battle has come the empress Morning Musume ‘17, the young princess ANGERME with soldiers loyalty has been sworn ,the time for battle approaches.

First time in history the nation of “Hello!Pro” chaos and war ,a country torn in two. Idol fighters , pride of nations , the empress and princess shall make war ,the loyalties of soldiers ,and the loyalty of countries to steal in battle!
“Hello! Project Hina Fest” Idol Raw Battle “- National Stealing –The Unification War!!!!”

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Idols Fangirl as Hard as We Do

All apologies to the author (our friend @weeaboowitch), but I, Maniac, am going to intervene just a little bit and write an extra intro.

Kerrie’s piece is on Pour Lui’s enormous musical crush on one of the most idol things to ever idol, Morning Musume, and somewhat additionally on Oomori Seiko, who you either know and love or are about to meet. Given additional context, Michishige Sayumi, a long-time member of Morning Musume and one of the group’s former leaders, blogged today for the first time in two years, and idol Twitter lost its collective shit. Sayumi is even a big focus of the below. I hold this up for you to look at if you’re not as acquainted with idol culture — this is idol culture, and it’s hard to avoid in Japan even if you want to; it’s so pervasive that it even sucks in people dedicated to annihilating idol culture, as Kerrie point out. Plus, there’s a lot of mutual love on our side of the fence; Ai from Malcolm Mask McLaren, for instance, loves PassCode and PIIIIIIIN and Fruitpochette so much that she lists them in her Twitter bio. /Manic

For Pour Lui fans out there, Henkka at kuomi.org lovingly translated an interview with her and sort-of anti-idol singer-songwriter Oomori Seiko from the Hello! Project COMPLETE SINGLE BOOK that came out around 2013. Continue reading