This Monday Match Game Is All about the Beats

Hello weird people! Welcome back to the Monday Match Game, the only game in idol that verifiably wastes more time than it’s worth pits idol against idol, style against style and fan against fan in brutal, HTML-rendered public opinion combat!

In last week’s no-holds-barred matchup between emerging DIY idols, Under Beasty connected a knockout punch straight to Gokigen Teikoku’s chin, thereby declaring themselves the Queens of Idols Who Are Good Enough on Their Own.

But this week, we’re getting topical, and we’re getting projectionable. Our pal dofphoto doesn’t just offer reviews, but translates bits of news about developments in idol, too. Take it away, dofphoto!

Kouteka 3 is a new unit formed by inheriting the will of Koutei Camera Girl Zwei (abbreviation: Kouteka 2) who broke up with a live performed at Tokyo · WWW X on January 13. The conditions for submitting an audition are women living in Tokyo from 16 to 22 who are not affiliated with a particular production or record company.”Koutei Camera Girl Drei is a group focused on music and design. I would like to disseminate something I want to express, I am waiting for the application of girls who want to change the current situation.”There is no problem with inexperienced raps , it is better for inexperienced people. “All members so far were inexperienced” Tapestock explains.

Amazing. And as the Weekender has now according to the Official Policy of Homicidols.com unofficially become Koutei Camera Girl/2/Gal’s honorary place of celebration, it’s fitting to break from our regularly scheduled programming for a minute to not only hold up the coolest thing in idol rap, but also ask ourselves the question: If you dropped all three of them into a bear pit (sans bear), who’d win? Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Bootstrap Idols

Friends, we have a lot of fun with the Monday Match Game. Sometimes it’s punny, sometimes it’s funny, but it’s always, always … sunny? I ran out of rhymes.

Anyway! Last week, yami-kawaii obliterated yume-kawaii despite Tiffany’s protestations that they’re basically the same thing, thereby confirming that we’d rather contemplate mortality than have a heaven filled with fallen angels. Good times!

This week, the Match Game takes on a decidedly germane flavor. We’ve been talking a lot about indie idols, the kind that do it all themselves and make their own success on their own merits. There’s not a silver spoon or institutional advantage (well, probably some kawaii) in sight when these self-driven performers step into the limelight.

In this corner, throwback heavy metal and rock ‘n’ roll idols whose success is so palpable that they even drag their own ex-members back into the fold; in the other corner, goofball stage antics and a musical smorgasbord from idols who actually fired their manager to take over their own affairs themselves.

Two darlings of the underground enter, but only one … well.* Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Who Is Best Metal?

Welcome back to the Monday Match Game! We took off last week to allow the Best of 2016 voting process to kick off, but I wanted to bring the game back in time to honor a truly momentous occasion in the history of idol metal.

For the past several weeks, Babymetal has been in the UK, touring with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. What started off as something of a tepid reaction from fairly unfamiliar crowds has since turned into a bizarre carnival as rock veterans take time out of their own headlining show to incorporate the relative newcomers and … yep, even wish their leader a happy birthday:

This means that thousands of new souls are being converted to the faith of the Fox God, which means that they’ll inevitably find their way online, which means that they too will soon become embroiled in the ultimate question: Who is best metal? Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Beauty and Brutality

Welcome back to the Monday Match Game! Last week, in a true clash of titans, BiS’s enigmatic Gozeela defeated international film star and Japanese kaiju icon, the literal King of All Monsters, Godzilla. And I finally made my joke pay off!

This week, it’s down to brass tacks, brass knuckles and maybe even brass balls. Idols are supposed to be cute and sweet and delivering pleasant-sounding music; these idols, though, are of a completely different sort. From some foul spot deep inside their souls (or possibly from the work of well-compensated vocal coaches!) spews forth such harsh, demonic screaming that one could be forgiven for wondering whether this is even idol anymore at all and instead some cruel joke played upon unsuspecting music fans.

Yes, friends, last week pitted monster against monster; this week, it’s titan versus titan! Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Who’s the Real King of the Monsters?

Welcome back to the Monday Match Game! Last week’s contest saw Billie Idle crush their poor namesake (Billy Idol) in a mismatch as complete as it was expected.

This week, we complete the run of puns based on idols’ names by getting a little monstrous. Yes, folks, while it’s fun to pit like-named human beings against one another, it’s quite another to stand up idols against analogous primal forces with the very future of the nation of Japan at stake.

In this corner, the most iconic movie monster of all time, a prehistoric reptilian mountain of destruction whose very name evokes fear, awe and probably a little bit of pants-wetting in those who hear it. In the other corner, a newcomer to the idol game but no stranger to fear-inspiring behavior in her own right. Two powerful enigmas enter, but only one will leave! Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Billie Idle vs. Billy Idol

Welcome back to the Monday Match Game! Last week, in a runaway win for Aina the End, we had a decisive divide between folks with different levels of exposure to the scene — LOW-INFORMATION VOTERS SWUNG THE ELECTION! Either way, fun.

This week! It’s a whole lot of punk up in here. Old punk. Punk from the 80s old punk. Punk that your parents (and maybe you!) bopped to old punk. Punk that just so happens to also sound great coming from idols in 2016!

In this corner, impossibly prolific not-idol punks extraordinaire, friends of Pharrell and post-BiS fan favorites Billie Idle; in this, uh, other corner, the misguided soundtrack to so many proms, weddings and makings-of-babies Billy Idol. Two will enter, but only one will leave and get to continue to use some variation of their homophonic names! Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Aina vs. Maina

Welcome back to the Monday Match Game! Last week’s contest pitted two tiny, tiny heavyweights against each other in a showdown of shattered psyches. Yes, after a full day of voting, Mashiro (Zenkimi) defeated Mashiro (DEEP GIRL), taking full advantage of the fact that her competition was literally in the hospital while it all went down.

This week, it’s pint-sized power voices on point! In the red corner, the dynamic center of one of the hottest things in the history of idolcore; in the blue, the leading musical polymath whose seasonal work is taking a dance unit into the limelight.

That’s right, friends. In a test of pure power punchers, who’s it gonna be? Continue reading

Monday Match Game: Mashiro vs. Mashiro

I like to keep things spicy around here. No, there’s no shortage of new idols to learn about or new videos to look at, and goodness knows I’m making a hell of an ask of you guys with the whole Best of 2016 business, but it’s always nice to introduce some new stuff.

And this is new! I’m calling it the Monday Match Game, and it’ll run until I or we run out of ideas, or pure, unadulterated malaise strikes it down simile awkward metaphor!

The thing is, idols are interesting. But they’re even more interesting when they’re pitted against one another in metaphorical mortal combat based entirely on completely tenuous associations between them!

As such, our first entry in the first Monday Match Game pits the Queen of Yami-Kawaii against the Most Metal Cheerz Model in the World. Yes, friends, in a fight to the death, who emerges victorious — Mashiro or Mashiro? Continue reading