The Homicidols Corenament Second Round

Friends, we are all witnesses to history, and the Corenament now has something over the actual NCAA (men’s) Tournament — after the University of Virginia ate a big ol’ bag of shit against the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (it’s a commuter school!) last night, a 16 seed has now topped a #1 in the Big Dance.

Not even we can claim that kind of bonkers-ness; the closest that we got in the first round was ayumikurikamaki, a #13, adding insult to Babymetal’s enduring run of indignity (in the eyes of a clear majority of idol fans, at least). Excitement!

By and large, though, the Corenament has held pretty close to chalk. And that’s what early rounds are for — clearing out the noise and determining who really actually belongs to be in the competition for the title. Hence, after one full Corenament round, our field looks like this:

Pretty okay! And I think we’re still on track for all four Bracket Boss’s top seeds to meet up in the Sweet Sixteen. Which, frankly, is boring. So, with the nominal consent of said Bracket Bosses, I decided that it was time to roll out our first wrinkle. I call it … the 32 Switcheroo! Continue reading

The Homicidols Corenament Round 1 Part 2

And we’re back! We darn near avoided the predictable dipstick vote bot nonsense, but I was fortunately prepared and had an artificial cut line in place. The results that you can see from the first two regional matches are pretty close to what I decided to count; if you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I’ll tell you all about it.

The next two regions are up, and we’ll run through these today and tomorrow before doing the Round of 32 over the weekend. I … I’ll be up front and say that I have the very first wrinkle ready to go (if the Bracket Bosses support it), and I may be arming them with some additional tools in their own personal quests for victory. We can keep it really fun and completely unpredictable!

The rule for this one stays the same:

You have two hours left in Tokyo and you want to see both idols in each match, but they’re playing on different sides of town; who do you go see?

Continue reading

The 2018 Homicidols Corenament Round 1 Part 1

Welcome to the opening round of the 2018 Homicidols Corenament, you bunch of weirdos! Over the next few days, we’re going to very deliberately whittle down this massive field of 64 to something more manageable (32), and then cut that in half again over the weekend; everybody knows that the real fun doesn’t start until the Sweet Sixteen, anyway.

Today, we kick things off with matchups from the Toxic Breakfast Region and the CoDAEMETALmental Region; these will stay open through tomorrow, and then we’ll take a couple of days to do the other two regions, and then the Round of 32 on Saturday and Sunday. And each step of the way, we’ll find all kinds of ways to twist the knife and interfere with the general, sensible order of things in the simple name of DISORDER.

You didn’t really think that this was going to be completely straightforward, did you? That’s cute.

For our opening round, though, we’ll keep it simple. Consider the following:

You have two hours left in Tokyo and you want to see both idols in each match, but they’re playing on different sides of town; who do you go see?

Continue reading

Your 2018 Homicidols Corenament Field

It’s Selection Sunday, friends, and while most of the sporting world’s eyes will be turned toward the results of the NCAA tournament’s selection committee later this evening, the eyes of the Idolverse should be turned right here, right now, as we’re about to break into the third(!) iteration of the Corenament, and may the gods help us all.

Before the bracket is unveiled, I’d like to thank our Bracket Bosses! For no clear reason, the following know-a-lot idol fans agreed to take on the task of not only assembling the bracket based on last week’s input, but to shepherd their respective regions’ favorites and champions toward an epic, no-holds-barred Final Four that … that I still need to figure out. It’ll be great! Continue reading

The Corenament Is Coming. Help!

It’s that time of year again, people! The single largest, grandest, most incredibly stupid event on the Homicidols calendar is the Corenament, the annual rip-off celebration of the NCAA basketball tournament, which, just like the Corenament, will kick off next week. And in keeping with tradition, we’ll use the week before the Corenament to set the field.

The inaugural Corenament was a competition of best songs that was won (mostly legitimately!) by Kamen Joshi; last year’s more open format elevated Babymetal to the title, but not without some controversy that led directly into Queen of the Scene. This year, I wonder if we can’t bass-ackwardly stumble into a completely unexpected winner!

In that spirit, this year is going to take on a different hue; rather than go bonkers and have like 14 different pre-Corenament divisions, this year will have eight, and eight from each will advance to the Big Choreo, and seeding therein will be set by The Committee, the membership of which will be revealed on Selection Sunday (that’s Sunday) when the brackets come out.

Our job right now is to give The Committee an idea of how they should be building their respective brackets of 16, and we’re going to do that a little differently than in the past. Continue reading

The 2017 Homicidols Corenament: Aftermath

The crowd roared in the PARMS Theater as the lights went down and none other than Tsunku himself stepped to the mic.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Akihabara and the fabulous PARMS Theater. Tonight, the grueling marathon of idol will draw to its conclusion, and only one will emerge victorious. I give you the 2017 Homicidols Corenament finalists!”

Jogging in from the wings came Babymetal from stage left, Guso Drop from stage right. The two titans of girls singing really loudly circled around each other, warming up, before forming up at each side of the stage for one last conference with their managers, Kobametal in his Babybones costume and Daichi in his very large normal frame.

Tsunku raised a hand, and the roar inside of PARMS fell to a murmur, a susurrus of anticipation.

“Allow me to introduce to you our special guest match announcer, the one and only Jim ‘JR’ Ross!”

The combat sports legend shuffle-jogged to the front of the stage, waving his cowboy hat to the adoring fans.

“And tonight’s special guest referee, Watanabe Junnosuke!” Continue reading

The Corenament Final Is Perfect

Have you seen? It’s time for the Homicidols Fund Drive! Consider bribing your favorite idols to victory!

The Corenament has been great. While last year got weird and I had a fit, this year’s edition featured plenty of the same weirdness … but we embraced it! And the result has incidentally gotten us a real storybook finale.

Our Final Four has had none of the drama of the real one; instead, Guso Drop rode out a healthy early lead against their good friends in NECRONOMIDOL, and Babymetal made mincemeat out of the surprising FRUITPOCHETTE.

The result is that we get #1 against #1, Shinjuku against Harajuku, the top two overall Corenament seeds playing it out like it was scripted, and with all the narrative possible to back it up.

Yes, friends, it’s time to decide. It’s the true queens of the underground against the stars of the international stage, true idols who swim in a world of blood and spit against idols who’ve transcended type and made their own.

Who’s it gonna be? Continue reading

The Corenament Has Reached Its Final Four: Who Lives to Fight Another Day?

Well, friends, the Corenament has reached its zenith — the Final Four are ready to square off. It wasn’t easy getting here, but a full month’s worth of pitting idols against idols gave us surprises, cheers and jeers, and plenty of head-scratching confusion.

Out of the wreckage of conference tournaments and the first four rounds of competition stand four elites as selected by you, the fans; literally nobody selected these as the Final Four, but that’s the neat thing about an ongoing war of attrition. Punk was almost completely wiped out by what you might call the three pillars of idol+metal, leaving only Guso Drop to defend hardcore’s honor. And, as an added bonus, the resultant matchups are tasty.

Yes, as the Corenament descends upon Akihabara, we have two of the great champions of the underground squaring off in a fists-and-elbows-vs.-Lovecraftian-horrors battle to the death (that they’d probably welcome!), plus a battle that many a smark fan of idol metal would love to see happen in real life.

While I expect the voting hordes to descend upon these final polls, I also expect the more thoughtful minds to have themselves some agonized decisions!

Voting is open until midnight ET Saturday night. Continue reading

Corenament Week 2: Aftermath, and Our Final Four

Well, friends, despite some hiccups, we got here; the first two weeks of the Corenament are in the books, and we’re down to our Final Four. Just like in real life! And while we didn’t quite have the drama of UNC-Kentucky, we did have … well, idol-level drama. It all seems to have worked out, though, because now we’re just doing triple-digit voting for everybody. May the most dedicated bunch of bots and shut-ins win!

I kid, really. I’ve seen folks talking about X’s fans in Y country getting on board; I’ve seen the shares on Facebook and Twitter myself. The site randomly got some pings from what I think is a Chinese blog? Basically, while last year’s Corenament became the Kamen Joshi show because people like Kamiya Erina asked their followers to vote, this thing grew legs and went some places. Neato!

And now here we are, with a Final Four that I don’t think too many people would complain about. Go look at the Elite Eight results if you want; most of the surprising names therein have been purged on the strength of PURE IDOLCORE POWER. And also Babymetal.

What’s next? Continue reading

The Corenament’s Elite Eight Surpass Expectations — Who’ll Be Left Standing?

Well, gang, the Sweet 16 went down about how I sort of expected it to, and our regional finals are big ol’ mixed bag — two slugfests between region favorites, and two whodathunkit matchups besides.

I won’t belabor the point; the Elite Eight, the final bits of idol throwing down for a coveted spot in the Final Four, have … earned it? Sure. This round will run for the next two days, Friday and Saturday, with votes closing at midnight Saturday.

A quick word of apology, though, before we begin: I had intended to make the last last four rounds of the Corenament a more interesting affair than a straight up-and-down vote, but the bombing and whatnot sort of spoiled things. But that’s okay. I bet the final crowning of a champion will be full of surprises!

Ready to go? Continue reading