Extra Corenament Overtime Time!

You guys, something completely unprecedented has happened: It’s normal for two contestants for the Corenament title to be tied at the end of regulation, so overtime is, uh, normal; it’s only happened once before this round that overtime has needed extra overtime, and guess what? At least then a decision was reached and somebody went home in tears!

Nope, for the first time ever, we have two idol groups, having gone toe-to-toe through regulation, OT and then another OT (re: overnight!) have still failed to break their tie. And that means … well, more OT. But structured!

Kaqriyo Terror Architect, last year’s runner-up and an early favorite for this year’s title, is at risk of pulling a Virginia and falling to the lowest seed in the event, DAIDAIDAI, who are in the Corenament for the first time but clearly pulling their own amount of fan favoritism. Their incredible energy has proven an equal match for Kaqriyo’s, well, being Kaqriyo! So we need to settle this for once and all.

I’ll take this down at my noontime. Winner advances; loser gets a participation trophy.

And may the gods help us if they’re somehow still tied.

The 2019 Homicidols Corenament, Round 1 Part 2

Wow! We had ourselves one heck of a first half of a first round of the 2019 Homicidols Corenament! (If you’re very confused, start here.) I’ll spare the world the recap for now, but go ahead and say up front anyway: lol @ Babymetal. You’re basically Tennessee!*

Our bracket now looks like this:

And plenty more action to come!

The rest of the round will run starting now until Sunday night / Monday morning / when I remember to close the polls. None of these matchups are deliberate and some I now regret, but so it goes when half of what you do is random and the other half is purely for your own amusement! Continue reading

The 2019 Homicidols Corenament, Round 1

All righty, folks, the Big Dance has finally arrived, and now begins the arduous process of crowning a new Corenament champion for 2019! I very literally cannot believe that this is the fourth iteration of this contest. You’d think that we’d have better things to do!

If you need background, go read the primer. If you need assistance, friend, there isn’t any. All I can say at this point is that Sister Jean’s promise to Hanako-san from last year is still unrealized, and that there’s still plenty of lingering, simmering resentment not just from last year’s outcome, but come the shocking conclusion to Queen of the Scene as well. Milcboy will not be denied!

Here’s your big board:

How are we competing? Music videos! Which ones? IT’S COMPLETELY RANDOM! If you’re at all familiar with the NCAA Tournament, you know very well how random performance can be from one game to another — to win the thing, not only do you need to be able to play your best for six straight games over three weeks, but at a level that’s at least one score better than your opponent in every one of those games. Slip up a little bit, try to relax, not take your opponent seriously, happen to have a bad game, happen to have an opponent who’s a terrible matchup for you? See you next year, chump! Continue reading

Your 2019 Homicidols Corenament Primer

People love to bang on about traditions and rites and whatnot. It’s fine! I happen to dig on a little bit of nostalgia myself, especially when I can get invested in some element thereof. And if I invent the thing? Well then sure, I’ll care even extra!

So: Ah, friends, is there any finer tradition in sports, any finer rite of spring than the Corenament? For those uninitiated into its mysteries, the Corenament is an annual competition, spiritually akin to the famed NCAA basketball tournament, but realistically absolutely nothing like it except for a cheap branding opportunity! We set a bracket, we populate it with idols, and we vote, ever so many times over a few weeks, until we have a champion. In order, past champs are Kamen Joshi, Babymetal and Minna no Kodomo-chan. It’s an excuse to fanfic. Good times had by most!

We’ll kick things off on Thursday, which is the day when the real tournament games begin, as opposed to like right now, which is when the NCAA starts things with their convoluted extended field. In fact, we’re going to make things simpler this year than in the past by having a smaller field for once, and by emphasizing real things to compete head-to-head with, and by adding the kinds of random variables that populate IRL sporting events but are usually minimized in a controlled environment like online polls and stuff.

Anyway, your field is: Continue reading

It’s a Money in the Bank Sneak Attack!

1-2-3 and it’s over! Your NEW QUEEN OF THE SCENE IS 2& SAKI!



The guaranteed-anytime contract in Saki’s briefcase doesn’t say much, but it does say that this matchup is scheduled for one fall, and that it’s on a two-hour time limit. So! Between right now and MIDNIGHT LONDON TIME, place your votes for who’s winning this matchup and gets to hold the title! Continue reading

The Corenament Championship Affair


Thousands of idol fans crowd the streets, chanting MIX to nothing in particular, jubilant in having taken part in such a spectacle as the 2018 Homicidols Corenament final

LOCAL NEWSCASTER: As you can see, it’s absolute pandemonium here outside the Alamodome. People are still having a hard time believing that Minna no Kodomo-chan did what should have been impossible in riding the Loser’s Bracket all the way to back-to-back thrashings of trendy pick Kaqriyo Terror Architect. It’s quite a sight!




Fans, staff and parents are gathered around HONO, CINNAMON and PRODUCER-SAN, and surrounding all of them are REPORTERS and PHOTOGRAPHERS. Producer-san is wearing a BASKETBALL NET around his neck

PRODUCER-SAN: The important thing was that we never said never. We believed in ourselves and refused to quit. We never said die out there, and we worked together as a team, and we definitely made sure that we did it for the fans, because our fans are the best fans in the world.

HONO: I still don’t know what happened! Continue reading

And Then There Were Two

And here we are. Three weeks, something around a bazillion matches, switcheroos, double eliminations, resurrections that led to immediate extra death … all to land us in what might be the least likely Corenament final in history.

Daemon’s regional winner, Kaqiryo Terror Architect, did it the old-fashioned way, winning every match in turn and taking a straight path to the final. Minna no Kodomo-chan, though, didn’t really pick up their momentum until they found themselves in the Loser’s Bracket (i.e., when their manager realized what was up and started to promote to their fans), ultimately absolutely crushing prohibitive annual favorites BiSH to round out the losers’ side (presumably because all of the WACK idols were getting prepped for those amazing auditions). There hasn’t been so clear a clash of outsiders since … uh, since … I don’t know! It doesn’t usually happen this way!

It looks like this: Continue reading

At Last, Corenament Clarity and a Path to the Championship

Did you think I was kidding when I said that yesterday’s Final Four action was going to be brutal? Fans of BiSH and Kaqriyo Terror Architect got into some kind of vote war (well over 200 in the span of a few hours), with the Codomomental upstart coming out on top and guaranteeing themselves a place in the final; and, with the very thorough support of management, Minna no Kodomo-chan absolutely wiped the floor with Hanako-san, who frankly didn’t seem all that interested:

Of course, she shortly thereafter followed that message with:

Well, Hanako-san, if you don’t want to be part of the game — even though you’re technically still alive! — it certainly makes things easier to have you out. Godspeed Good luck! I’d hate for this to all be some sort of convenient ruse!

That does leave us with one final match to see who needs to be in the final against Kakuriyo, though. Continue reading

The Corenament’s Revised Final Four: Slaughter

Finally, finally you guys, we are on the precipice of crowning a Corenament champion — the champion of idol in a very narrowly defined way! — after three increasingly stupid weeks and complicated set-ups and challenges and three of our entrants haven’t even taken a loss yet, how is this possible.

Yesterday! The results did manage to come in such that I hopefully don’t need to get extra cute in making this work over the weekend, which I’d just as soon not really do, as I’d like to be crowning a champion and not, you know, coming up with convoluted schemes. In fact, yesterday’s results were an absolute bloodbath: Poor Zekkyou, who’d held on for ever so long, finally took their second L and are out, slain at the hands of a highly vengeful (nice job, Rain!) Hanako-sn; Minna no Kodomo-chan didn’t need the late life that they got from their fans (not-sarcastically nice job, Kodomocafe!) to tear poor Saki to pieces. And because I’d promised that I’d re-award the unused Money in the Bank briefcase to either of 2& or Hanako-san if they lost yesterday — Saki, come claim your prize.*

Now we have a Final Four. Two undefeateds will face off, while the irrepressible Hanako-san will fight for her life against Hono and Cinnamon. Continue reading

We Found a Way to Make the Corenament Even More Exhausting

Do you partake in the NCAA Tournaments? They’re a grind. Even grindier, though, are the respective conference tournaments that are held prior to it — in larger conferences, a team might have to win four games in four days to win the title, and the ones that do are usually the ones who started at the bottom.

Wither Hanako-san, then. A 12 seed, and the only 12 in Corenament history to not only still be alive at this point, but to have a realistic chance at winning — despite your interference, Rain!again because they were cruelly recalled from death to stand in for lossless human demon girl Hanako-san. Rain truly believed in their power, and again they fell. And it robbed us of a chance to see upstart ass-kicker Kakuriyo against an unliving chika legend!

Saki, 2&, similar boat; Daemon felt that his best chance to progress wasn’t to stick with who had defeated the single greatest entity in the entire history of idol, but called up denizens of the dead NECRONOMIDOL after they had already faltered against Zekkyou. Necroma got smoked by BiSH, and, because they were already twice losers, had to be replaced in the Loser’s Bracket by the poor, hard-working solo idol they’d supplanted. Saki made lemonade out of Candye Syrup, Pikarin and There There Theres, and (seeing as how she identically has zero losses) stands poised to make my weekend miserable.

So here’s the deal: If Hanako-san and Saki both win today (respectively against Screaming Sixties and Minna no Kodomo-chan), we’ll make a new Final Four with a yet-to-be-determined* wrinkle; if either of them loses, they get the Money in the Bank briefcase from Queen of the Scene that Emi from Desu.Rabbits hasn’t ever tried to play; if they both lose, thereby giving all four competitors currently sitting in the Loser’s Bracket one loss, they can face each other in an interpolatory sub-round, then add one more match to the Loser’s winner prior to their shot at the winner of Kakuriyo-BiSH. Make sense? Probably not! Continue reading