The MOMOLAND Saga Ends in Withdrawal

For the last couple of days, folks around the Idolsphere have been quite concerned regarding the whereabouts of BiS member Momo, who had disappeared from public view after apparently being seen getting on an airplane. Because it’s BiS and therefore WACK, and because it’s potentially serious business, I wasn’t going to immediately suspend justifiable disbelief and run with it, but it turns out that Momo did in fact go AWOL, and has in fact withdrawn from the group:

Fatigue. Understandable. Good luck to you, Momo!

Adventures in Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon #2

Previously on Pour Lui’s YouTube Dungeon:
BYS totally isn’t an April Fools joke.
First Summer Uika forms a bitch alliance with her former captor and Michibayashi Rio to seduce their rivals.
Where’s Kamiya Saki? Hell if I know.
Nobody can escape the YouTube Dungeon, especially not Koshouji Megumi.

Or at least, that’s my interpretation. If you hadn’t guessed from the previous trainwreck, this whole column is just me watching the BYS vlogs with my very limited Japanese and trying to form some kind of coherent story behind them. And failing. But hey, you don’t have to read this! On with the continuation of this gripping tale:

Episode 9: A Very Special Blossom

In a rare bout of kindness, Pour Lui takes her captives Megumi and Tentenko out to see the cherry blossoms. Oh wait, looks like she was just using them as her hapless servants to leech food from the unsuspecting public! Screw grocery shopping, am I right? Continue reading

The WACK Expo Fallout: We Are All Incredibly Easy Marks

I didn’t watch the WACK Expo. After the thing had been announced, and the overall shape of the auditions made, it was pretty obvious how the whole shebang would be conducted and concluded, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I allowed myself to selectively enjoy the auditions from extra-afar, taking it all in via Twitter and the occasional side conversation; once my girl Trivago was finally, mercifully euthanized, I didn’t care enough to even do that.

When I woke up today, the event was all in the past. Things had been done, reactions had, tears shed, etc. Was Twitter buzzing? It sure was! Were the takes flying? They sure were!

And all according to plan. Like any good wota, this is our moment to MIX, to respond to the ainote, to play our part in the interactive ritual that is being an idol fan. We happily separate ourselves from our money to experience closely controlled environments of put-on cruelty and manicured triumphs. We call out the things that are bad or stupid, and hand over cash, attention and appearances of generalized support in exchange. We are all incredibly easy marks.

Anyway, what happened: Continue reading

I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying

Man.

Continue reading

The New Future for BiS Is Terrifying and Confusing, Video Confirms

Guess what? I definitely wasn’t ready for what BiS was going to look like sans the Progenitor of Progenitors (Pour Lui, you goofs), nor for a whole mess of other things, and definitely not at 7:00 a.m. But hey, the “WHOLE LOTTA LOVE” MV has arrived and, aside from confirming that is has nothing to do with Zeppelin, it threw me for a whole writhing cascade of loops:

Continue reading

BiS’s Farewell to Pour Lui Is Available for Free

It’s time to start to say goodbye, apparently. BiS has placed both tracks from their re-major debut and final single with their founder, the grandest dame of them all and likely part of the string-pulling machinery at WACK, Pour Lui, out into the world for completely free listens:

Let’s listen to it! Continue reading

High-stakes Drama the Likes of Which You’ve Never Seen!

I just keep giggling about this. I really don’t know.

You tell me. Honestly. What the hell all is going on here? Idol Cannonball Run: The Motion Picture would create the single hottest holiday toy craze in history — vomit-inducing hot sauce! ill-fitting fitness wear! gratuitous bikini tops! — if it lived up to half of its potential. Like, AV vs. MV? More like Pour Lewd amirite? Continue reading

Pour One Out for Her; The GOAT Finally Retires

I’d go ahead and blame Kerrie here, but the poor child has been so inundated with graduations lately that I don’t want to pile on and, in fact, this is the kind of development that does in fact suck but at least has the right reasons behind it. And we get to see if the greatest conspiracy of all is more true than we ever could have reckoned!

Natalie.mu has the in-depth goods, too. The very short version: With the major label release of “WHOLE LOTTA LOVE” (yes), she realized that she doesn’t need BiS and BiS doesn’t need her, and it’s time to move on. And so, at the tour final (March 4), when Saki and Aya’s trade was set to be reversed anyway, Lui will graduate. Continue reading

Let’s Crowdfund Some Stuff

Did you know that Bitcoin, which is not actually money but nonetheless something that people have invested in, and which has skyrocketed in value faster than a Dutch tulip over the past couple of months (in particular), is currently continuing to skyrocket in value because it’s open to futures trading for the first time, and capitalism loves wild speculation even more than I do?

I bring this up not because I’m encouraging anybody to put money into cryptocurrencies (I am not!), but because you could use the money that you aren’t throwing into the void to fund some worthwhile idol-associated projects that will leave us, the fans, as the greatest beneficiaries after all.

First up! I mentioned the boans project a couple of weeks ago, and it still needs some cash:

I WANT THOSE SUBS, PEOPLE! Continue reading

You Sure Did Put Yourself on Notice, BiS

Interesting developments, perhaps, in the world of the grandmomma-iest of the homi side of idol, thanks in part to BiS apparently deciding that enough is enough, and it’s time to … something. Be more BiS, apparently.

I have thoughts, and they’re here there and everywhere (the original title of my post was Don’t Cut Yourself on All That Edge, BiS, to give you an idea), but: John with the bona fides, and let me just point out that, timing-wise and events-wise, this is right about in the continuum when BiS originally released IDOL is DEAD, which can neither be duplicated nor surpassed, but I’d be extremely pleased if Pour Lui were to give it a try.


Is all of WACK stealing from BILLIE IDLE right now or what?

That’s asking for a lot, right? Idol is, after all, always at least as much about image as it is anything else; this is how BiSH, the “punk band without a band,” can release an album that’s a weird split between punk (delivering on that brand promise!) and run-of-the-mill idol fare (the opposite of delivering on that brand promise!), and receive defenses from fans that boil down to calling critics stupid-ass edgelords (which, given that I’m also currently making fun of edgelords, is meta and funny). The power of idol: If you say it, it’s real enough that it may as well be true.

Regardless, you can imagine that I’d really love for BiS to get back to really truly seriously being the BiS that scared people literally just a few years ago, rather than being the occasionally interesting post-nostalgia vanity project that they sometimes seem like. I can’t think of a performer in this realm who I respect more than Pour Lui. Do well, senpai; these are the pitfalls that one faces after winning, apparently.

WACK is really on a tear lately. A new group, which is good by the way, new releases, awesome support for all of their groups. Now, today, BiS made an announcement we all knew was coming, it was only a matter of time. Of course we got this earlier, which always starts to rumor mill […]

via BiS Announce New Single Release Date And More — Straight From Japan

Also, the trade of Saki and Aya has an end date, whatever that means. Folks seem to think that it’s a ruse, for Watanabe-based reasons. I honestly don’t care.