The crowd roared in the PARMS Theater as the lights went down and none other than Tsunku himself stepped to the mic.
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Akihabara and the fabulous PARMS Theater. Tonight, the grueling marathon of idol will draw to its conclusion, and only one will emerge victorious. I give you the 2017 Homicidols Corenament finalists!”
Jogging in from the wings came Babymetal from stage left, Guso Drop from stage right. The two titans of girls singing really loudly circled around each other, warming up, before forming up at each side of the stage for one last conference with their managers, Kobametal in his Babybones costume and Daichi in his very large normal frame.
Tsunku raised a hand, and the roar inside of PARMS fell to a murmur, a susurrus of anticipation.
“Allow me to introduce to you our special guest match announcer, the one and only Jim ‘JR’ Ross!”
The combat sports legend shuffle-jogged to the front of the stage, waving his cowboy hat to the adoring fans.
“And tonight’s special guest referee, Watanabe Junnosuke!” Continue reading
Have you seen? It’s time for the Homicidols Fund Drive! Consider bribing your favorite idols to victory!
The Corenament has been great. While last year got weird and I had a fit, this year’s edition featured plenty of the same weirdness … but we embraced it! And the result has incidentally gotten us a real storybook finale.
Our Final Four has had none of the drama of the real one; instead, Guso Drop rode out a healthy early lead against their good friends in NECRONOMIDOL, and Babymetal made mincemeat out of the surprising FRUITPOCHETTE.
The result is that we get #1 against #1, Shinjuku against Harajuku, the top two overall Corenament seeds playing it out like it was scripted, and with all the narrative possible to back it up.
Yes, friends, it’s time to decide. It’s the true queens of the underground against the stars of the international stage, true idols who swim in a world of blood and spit against idols who’ve transcended type and made their own.
Who’s it gonna be? Continue reading
Well, friends, the Corenament has reached its zenith — the Final Four are ready to square off. It wasn’t easy getting here, but a full month’s worth of pitting idols against idols gave us surprises, cheers and jeers, and plenty of head-scratching confusion.
Out of the wreckage of conference tournaments and the first four rounds of competition stand four elites as selected by you, the fans; literally nobody selected these as the Final Four, but that’s the neat thing about an ongoing war of attrition. Punk was almost completely wiped out by what you might call the three pillars of idol+metal, leaving only Guso Drop to defend hardcore’s honor. And, as an added bonus, the resultant matchups are tasty.
Yes, as the Corenament descends upon Akihabara, we have two of the great champions of the underground squaring off in a fists-and-elbows-vs.-Lovecraftian-horrors battle to the death (that they’d probably welcome!), plus a battle that many a smark fan of idol metal would love to see happen in real life.
While I expect the voting hordes to descend upon these final polls, I also expect the more thoughtful minds to have themselves some agonized decisions!
Voting is open until midnight ET Saturday night. Continue reading
Well, friends, despite some hiccups, we got here; the first two weeks of the Corenament are in the books, and we’re down to our Final Four. Just like in real life! And while we didn’t quite have the drama of UNC-Kentucky, we did have … well, idol-level drama. It all seems to have worked out, though, because now we’re just doing triple-digit voting for everybody. May the most dedicated bunch of bots and shut-ins win!
I kid, really. I’ve seen folks talking about X’s fans in Y country getting on board; I’ve seen the shares on Facebook and Twitter myself. The site randomly got some pings from what I think is a Chinese blog? Basically, while last year’s Corenament became the Kamen Joshi show because people like Kamiya Erina asked their followers to vote, this thing grew legs and went some places. Neato!
And now here we are, with a Final Four that I don’t think too many people would complain about. Go look at the Elite Eight results if you want; most of the surprising names therein have been purged on the strength of PURE IDOLCORE POWER. And also Babymetal.
What’s next? Continue reading
Well, gang, the Sweet 16 went down about how I sort of expected it to, and our regional finals are big ol’ mixed bag — two slugfests between region favorites, and two whodathunkit matchups besides.
I won’t belabor the point; the Elite Eight, the final bits of idol throwing down for a coveted spot in the Final Four, have … earned it? Sure. This round will run for the next two days, Friday and Saturday, with votes closing at midnight Saturday.
A quick word of apology, though, before we begin: I had intended to make the last last four rounds of the Corenament a more interesting affair than a straight up-and-down vote, but the bombing and whatnot sort of spoiled things. But that’s okay. I bet the final crowning of a champion will be full of surprises!
Ready to go? Continue reading
Welcome to the Corenament’s Sweet 16!
We had a rough go of things in the round of 32, friends, as a bunch of awful ruiners showed up and tried to ruin the whole thing. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t; what matters is that the Corenament continue as the Will of the People. Do some people try to have a bigger, louder voice than others? They sure do! And welcome to modernity, apparently.
So what do we have? Actually, it’s still a really great field, with plenty of potential winners and nary a dull matchup left to be decided. And just think of what the regional finals will look like in a couple of days. Exciting!
After the jump, the region-by-region breakdown of what’s left, and your chance to vote for who advances to the Elite Eight on Friday!
Well, folks, we had ourselves a time, didn’t we? From well over 200 idols-and-things we now stand at 16. You can look back at the first round (day 1 | day 2) and the second (day 1 | day 2) to get an idea of how we got where we are now.
Because it’s impossible to have nice things, the results have been a little adulterated, but not so much that we can’t still enjoy the last few rounds, and then we can crown a Corenament champion and bestow upon some very confused Japanese girls an honor they neither want nor appreciate!
The schedule going forward is going to look like this:
- Sweet Sixteen: March 22 & 23
- Elite Eight: March 24 & 25
- Final Four: March 31 & April 1
- Final: April 3
In the battle to be Best Idol, only one can win, but we all get to have a good time!
Oh, and the matchup types are going to start to get weird, so watch out for that. Continue reading
Man, you guys are rough. You’re also giving me heartburn. You’ve shown a distinct willingness to poop all over expectations and destroy what is beloved in your quest to promote your own favorites. I LOVE IT!
The first half of the Round of 32 is in the books, and you can go look at those results, which were ridiculous if you were paying attention over the course of the day; NECRONOMIDOL saved their title hopes despite having been down by teens of votes at one point, and Babymetal roared back in the second half to annihilate Nippon Budokan. And we still got some cool upsets, so imagine what might be in store today.
This is the final determining vote for this week; we’ll regroup over the next couple of days, then be back again with the Sweet 16 and Elite Eight over Wednesday-Saturday next week. Your choices will only become more difficult, and your frustration with the human condition only more pronounced.
For instance, to everybody who questioned why so-and-so was matched with so-and-so, I could answer “that’s the process and nbd, it’s just for fun,” but the truth is that I set it up to be annoying because nothing pleases me more than watching you jamokes squirm! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
On to business. Continue reading
Well, gang, I feel like we dodged a bullet — a weird, bot-addled bullet — yesterday, but I also feel confident that the results we got were the ones we were going to have gotten anyway.*
Now it’s on to Round 2, the Round of 32, with half of the field having been eliminated and … wow. Look at the 32 we have left. There are a few lesser lights, that’s true, but would you feel terribly uncomfortable if anybody left at this point were to win? Not I. And we’ve dropped some big names along the way!
We’re back to Harajuku and Nagoya for brackets today, and we’ll tackle the other half tomorrow before moving to a slightly different schedule for next week … and then it’s on to the Final Four in Akihabara! Continue reading
Welcome back, Corenament mavens! Day 1 is in the books; go look at those results to see who all is advancing, because I don’t want to put a big ol’ list into this post. But some neat results and bracket weirdness unfolding!
Not when there are 16 fresh matchups to decide! Just like yesterday and just like during the conference tournaments, your basic criteria for a winner is who you like better, OR, if you can’t decide, who you would least like to face in a fight, with the goal being to decide What Is Best Idol?
Harajuku and Nagoya were yesterday; today, it’s the turn of Shinjuku and #1 overall seed Guso Drop, and Osaka. Exciting!
Voting will close at midnight ET. Ready? Continue reading