Oshi Digest #47: Trepid

In case you didn’t know, friends, our relatively new Oshi is facing a challenge. Yes, on Wednesday, she’ll find out who her opponent will be on Friday in the final match-up of Queen of the Scene, with the winner carrying the Official Oshimen of Homicidols Dot Com forward into the future. That means being the star of the Oshi Digest, which is an honor not to be discarded by anybody who likes it when literally dozens of foreign people consider that to be a big deal.

Saki’s so distraught that she’s showing off her forehead:

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It’s Time for Another Episode of Queen of the Scene!

INT. DARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL RESTROOM – NIGHT

A few flickering candles illuminate the room, the light doubled and re-doubled by the mirrors above each sink. Two of the three stall doors are closed, but the third, the middle, is OPEN. SAKI (20) stands in a CIRCLE OF PROTECTION on the floor.

Saki: Hanako-san. Hanako-san. HANAKO-SAN!

The 14TH GENERATION HANAKO OF THE TOILET (eternal, also like 14) APPEARS IN THE OPEN STALL!

Hanako-san: Who calls!

Saki: It’s just me, Hanako-san.

Hanako-san: Oh. Why the theatrics? You have my LINE.

Saki: Maniac said that it’d play better this way.

Hanako-san: Oh, that guy. So?

Saki: Well, you know that I stole the Homicidols Queen of the Scene title from Sari while we were in the United Kingdom.

Hanako-san: I do at that.

Saki: And I know that you helped to arrange for that with your selflessness during the Corenament.

Hanako-san: Indeed.

Saki: Maniac told me that I’ll need to defend my title this week.

Hanako-san: I see.

Saki: Right. So, from what I remember, you were promised something.

Hanako-san: I was.

Saki: Can I ask what that is?

Hanako-san: Unfortunately, I don’t actually know what it is. Sister Jean was very cryptic about it. All she said was that “no good deed goes unpunished.”

Saki: That could mean anything.

Hanako-san: It could also be that she was just acting as a cypher for the jerk in charge and was using a well-known nihilistic idiom.

Saki: Well, do you think that you’ll be able to help me? I’ve only been the Official Oshimen for a few weeks, and I’d like to be able to continue.

Hanako-san: Prophesy is tricky, especially for toilet ghosts like me. Ask me to show you the blackest chaos of your psyche, no problem; I can’t see the future, though, only what’s possible.

Saki: It’s going to be a long week. Continue reading

Oshi Digest #46: Input

This week’s Oshi Digest held up for legitimate reasons, I swear!

The nice thing about Saki as Oshi is that she’s so totally and deliberately interactive she is with her fans:

Yes, which color do you prefer? Do you like the sunflower? You can tell her! Continue reading

Oshi Digest #45: Lifestyles of the Rich and Oshi

After announcing that the Oshi Digest was moving semi-permanently to Monday, Maniac got too big-boy busy and now has to do it on Tuesday for the week! Sorry, Saki!

Try to imagine Saki-oshi’s life for a minute, you guys. You’re a well-known underground music figure, you’ve gone from center of a group to fully solo work, you’ve performed abroad, some weird foreign idol fan site has made you an object of veneration. The rewards for such generalized largesse of fortune apparently include partying on yachts!

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Oshi Digest #44: Friends

The Oshi Digest is henceforth moving to Mondays for any of a number of reasons, but mind your business anyway!

As recounted in the last Oshi Digest, our Official Oshimen of Homicidols.com, Saki of 2&, sure does seem to have a lot of idol friends out there, and she likes to take photos with them. Here’s a whole mess of them!

And with NoA! Continue reading

Oshi Digest #43: Road Trip

Our diminutive hero of a new Official Oshimen, Saki of 2&, is hitting the road. No, her first performances in the West are officially done, and she’s back in Japan (read her impressions!). Instead:

Nagoya! Whatever for? Continue reading

Oshi Digest #42: It’s Saki Time!

Yes, friends, in a shocking conclusion that absolutely nobody could have seen coming because there was definitely zero prior planning to facilitate it no siree bob, Saki of 2& and ex of Guso Drop is the new Official Oshimen of Homicidols.com by dint of her stunning sneak-attack victory over Sari from NECRONOMIDOL the other night in London. Truly one of the great Judas moments in history! And we are the beneficiaries!

Before diving in to the Sakixperience, just to reiterate, she’s going to hold this title for at least the next month and change, until the next Queen of the Scene competition. Because incumbency matters, I’m going to tilt the scales a bit in Saki’s favor, give her a genuine advantage over the competition. Oshi’s Edge, let’s call it. And if Saki can hold on despite the challenge, she’ll be in position to keep the title for up to a year, barring the next Money in the Bank briefcase holder pulling a … well, pulling a Saki and catching her at an inopportune time.

With all of that out of the way, let’s get down to the Digest! Continue reading

Kerrie Interviews Idols: 2&

The BLACK WINDS OVER ALBION tour wasn’t all wotagei and sudden friend-betraying crown theft; it was also a chance for Homicidols.com to get a little bit closer to some of the idols we’ve been covering since the very beginning. Official WACK Meme and UK Idol Tour Interview Correspondent Kerrie was at the show in Manchester and got to connect with everybody. Here’s the first installment.

Saki’s set was the first and the shortest of the night, much like how she was also the shortest idol of the night. (I’m sorry!) But what she lacked in height she more than made up for with her intense stage presence.

This woman is a powerhouse. Even backstage, while I was in the middle of interviewing Necroma, I spotted her out of the corner of my eye jumping up and down on the spot. She is a bundle of energy, both on-stage and off.

She did seem a little nervous once it came to the actual interview part, as she read her answers for me in English from her notebook, but to be honest, I was probably even more so. I’ve strongly admired Saki ever since discovering Guso Drop (one of my top three favourite units up until they disbanded last year), and now we were stood in a hallway (the quietest place we could find) speaking in English. But like the other idols I spoke to that night, she was really sweet in person, and an incredible performer on-stage.

Her set was wild! At one point I thought my ribs would get crushed by the Japanese wota who were behind me! She knows how to fire up an audience, that’s for sure! 100 percent worth the injury scare, would highly recommend, but maybe wear armour if you’re small and easily-breakable, she’s a powerful girl. Continue reading

It’s a Money in the Bank Sneak Attack!

1-2-3 and it’s over! Your NEW QUEEN OF THE SCENE IS 2& SAKI!


WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING!

On the final night of accompanying NECRONOMIDOL on their BLACK WINDS OVER ALBION tour, Saki of 2& has revealed her true intentions for tagging along — she’s CASHING IN HER MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE AND CHALLENGING NECROMA’S SARI FOR THE TITLE OF QUEEN OF THE SCENE AND OFFICIAL OSHIMEN OF HOMICIDOLS.COM!

The guaranteed-anytime contract in Saki’s briefcase doesn’t say much, but it does say that this matchup is scheduled for one fall, and that it’s on a two-hour time limit. So! Between right now and MIDNIGHT LONDON TIME, place your votes for who’s winning this matchup and gets to hold the title! Continue reading

And They Called It &ZEKKYOUNOMIDOL

INT. DAY JOB – MORNING

Homicidol Maniac, seated at his desk, is holding a cell phone to his ear. His face is UNPLEASANT; A loud SCREAMING sound is audible through the phone.

MANIAC: Kerrie. Kerrie! Calm down.

The screaming dissipates.

MANIAC: Tell me what’s the matter.

KERRIE (through phone): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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