Shit-wreckers: The Corenament We Could’ve Had

If not for this whole past week being Babymetal Week®, I had wanted to play a little game to the side of the Corenament, a Homicidols NIT if you will. It never materialized because I didn’t have any time, but I did think we could have something fun to do while we reset for the final tomorrow. Hence: Shit-wreckers.

These are all songs that, had the opening round had a different result or some of the fan preferences shifted just a few nominations in one direction or another, could have been part of the Corenament.

Psybou Kanojo, “Most Violence”

I actually don’t know if that’s the right translation of the title of this song, and I don’t care. Listen to it:

Psybou Kanojo was actually voted into the Corenament as the representative of the solo idols, only to literally quit the day before. This was replaced by Guso Drop and a re-seeding took place, and then the Gusos disappointed and, seriously, we were robbed of what could have easily been a one-woman wrecking crew in the middle of the bracket. Oh well.

Ladybaby, “Renge Chance”

I bag on Ladybaby and have some general issues there (that, in fairness, could possibly be applied to others and I’m just not aware of it), but credit where it’s due: This is a tremendous song:

The irony is that this was released the day before the DEATH POP DEATHMATCH, but Deathrabbits won that in a walk in the very first instance of some suspicious voting patterns around them. Had Ladybaby advanced, this could have been theirs, and heaven help almost anybody else for having to deal with it.

Fruitpochette, “Paradox”

“CleverDick” won out over this song by a single vote in the nomination process, and while I personally consider “CleverDick” to be the most interesting thing that Fruitpochette‘s ever done, this is one epic bit of metal.

In the original bracket, Fruitpochette had one of the “easier” routes to the final. With this on their side, they could have walked off with the whole thing.

Osaka Shunkashuto, “Kill the King”

Here’s another one from a group that did enter the Corenament but probably not with their best material. Nominators chose “Let You Fly!!”, which is a fine and good song, but it’s not this:

The sicko inside me wishes that this could have been paired with Necronomidol‘s similarly styled “Lamina Maledictum” just to see what would happen. But Syukasyun (well, Maina and dancers) crush the hell out of that song. Ronnie James Dio would be proud if he weren’t dead.

Deep Girl, “I Kill”

Yeah, everybody got their yucks in at Deep Girls’ expense when debuted looking like an ill-informed stylist’s idea of an idol metal group, then failed to meet their sales objective. Nobody’s laughing anymore.

See the comments on that video for why the chorus actually works with the rest of that madness.

Deep Girl got a lot of early votes before fading and being passed by Kamen Joshi; otherwise, it’s likely that this would have been the #16 seed against Babymetal and “Megitsune.” Can you say with a straight face that you couldn’t see the possibility of history’s first victory of a 16-seed over a 1?

You’ll Melt More!, “id Idol”

My personal first Yurumerumo song, and genuinely one of their best. “Only You” may have technically been their best bet in the Corenament, but there’s so much … I dunno, alt-metal? in here that it would have stood a puncher’s chance against almost anybody.

I mean, “Suicide, sweet side”? Somebody get Judas Priest on the phone.

Idol’s version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl meets that hard-driving instrumental in a song that makes self-violence and death sound adorable, set in a video that features the director killing his own talent? What isn’t there to like?


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