I’m so sorry
Man you guys, just when I thought it was safe to relax for a minute and settle into whatever kind of normal being a fan of idols really allows you to have, along comes … well, RIOT BABY:
We have reached peak kawaiicore people; one of these girls is nine. Nine! And they somehow sound like a smashed-up version of Guso Drop and Malcom Mask McLaren after a NOFX bender. Does the presumptive leader like Babymetal? You bet your ass she likes Babymetal!
It’s Indie Idol Wednesday, too, but this is a little too slick a production for your average indie. No, something else is at play here. They’ve even met You’ll Melt More!
— KAE（かえ）【RIOTBABY】 (@KAE_RIOTBABY) February 15, 2017
And are therefore around 700 percent cooler than me
The group’s a few months old, though I’m not sure exactly when they debuted. It doesn’t matter. I’m completely beside myself. I HAVE BACK HAIR OLDER THAN THESE GIRLS. They’re babies!