News Brief: American Music Festival Makes Incredible Mistake

[Baltimore, Md., USA]
Following the announcement that GODFLESH will be replacing My Dying Bride as headliner of the annual extreme metal smorgasbord that is Maryland Deathfest, festival co-founder Ryan Taylor released a follow-up statement.

“Evan [Harting, fellow co-founder] messaged me a few hours after tickets went on sale to let me know that we’d somehow missed out on two up-and-coming Japanese acts. NECRONOMIDOL and Broken By The Scream have been making such huge waves all around the world, and they’re perfect for MDF, and I completely dropped the ball.

“Such an oversight. I mean, we’ve included Melt Banana; what the hell was I thinking.”

When reached for additional comment, the incredibly intelligent MDF coordinator, who is almost as tasteful as he is attractive, said, “The thing is, if I’d known about the sick dual vocals in ‘Love is a maiden’s cry’ or the chilly black bleakness of ‘ITHAQUA’ before, I’d have reached out months and months ago.

“The concept of MDF is simple: to bring to the United States the best and most extreme bands the underground has to offer. MDF is a showcase of what extreme music, both new and old, is capable of. With an emphasis on diversity, the festival brings together the very best death metal, grindcore, doom, thrash, hardcore, black metal, and experimental bands from all around the world. The diversity of the lineup is only surpassed by the diversity of MDF’s rabid fan base.

“Unfortunately, this year’s lineup is set, so NECRONOMIDOL and Broken By The Scream will just have to wait until 2019. And what’s this about a Hanako-san?”

Harting, who could previously be heard bellowing his drunken sorrow in the background, jumped onto the line. “HOMICIDOLS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”, apparently referencing, the additionally apparent source of his learning of NECRONOMIDOL and Broken By The Scream.

Representatives of NECRONOMIDOL and Broken By The Scream could not be reached for comment by press time.