Well with BiSH you may be 'wiped' off the face of the planet or merely 'flushed away' or made to work your way up from the 'bottom' or handed the 'rusty sheriff's badge' or made to 'drop the kids off at the pool' or something shitty like that.#IdolGraduationAlternatives
How do you people do it? I only went to Hyper Japan for one day, not even for the whole event, and I slept for 12 hours and I lost a quarter of the skin on my feet! How you people manage to go for three days and not die is amazing.
My intentions for Hyper Japan were kind of thwarted; I applied for a press pass a long time ago with the intention of interviewing DEADLIFT LOLITA, but when I didn’t hear back from them within a week I figured “well, no harm in going normally,” bought my tickets, only for them to respond just a couple of days before the event with my pass. “Is a chat with Deadlift at least still on?” I asked. “Nope” they replied. But you know what my press pass did entitle me to at least? Special VIP access to the very front of the stage for photography purposes and by gum am I going to take advantage of that!
One thing that intrigued me was how Dot-chans do not graduate, merely “assume new forms.” With Dot’s wacky concept, I was curious for a while as to how they’d handle graduations, and now I guess I have my answer.
But what if other idol units handled graduation in a similar way, in that they don’t say “graduation”, but more, like parents trying to explain to their children “No, your dog wasn’t hit by a car, he went to live on a farm!” Continue reading →
This week’s theme is a little bit late, but its important, damn it! I’m sure you’ve all seen that interesting WACK is SHiT music video by now. And you’ve probably already heard about the rather “simplistic” way that the single was released to the public:
if this is how theyre gonna give it to us then this is how im gonna keep it in my library
Now, Poteto may be cool with this presentation, but I’m not. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty anal when it comes to album art. I need to have something, anything visual to appear when I put a song in my music library. Empty album art icons make me cringe. And I know I’m not the only one!
So what is a fan to do when the official release doesn’t even come with that? Get creative, obviously! Continue reading →
Did you know? Today is my birthday! It’s once in a blue moon that my birthday coincides with a Friday Fun, so I’m getting a bit self-indulgent on all of you for this week. Firstly, I said last year I was holding a Vaporwave-themed party for my Sweet 26, then I remembered I have no friends so you’ll have to do that for me:
Now that the music is sorted, let’s get the guest list. You don’t really see idols tweeting about parties a lot, do you? Or maybe I just follow the wrong idols. The most I normally see are birthday concerts and maybe the girls tweeting about going to karaoke sessions. But I never see anything about say, an idol’s friend’s throwing a surprise party with cakes and balloons and party games.
Maybe they’re all too busy for that, or maybe its just not what they do in Japan, I don’t know. But this week’s special self-indulgent birthday Fun, imagine inviting a whole bunch of idols to a good old-fashioned birthday party and the havoc that would inevitably break out. Continue reading →
Last week, I was kindly informed that 3776’s Magnum Opus album, 3776 wo Kikanai Riyuu ga Aru to Sureba, was available for free on OTOTOY temporarily. Always one for a freebie, naturally, I downloaded it, and upon listening, I was like “Damn! This is a really great album!” and so Maniac responded, “Then review it”.
Two problems here:
I suck at song reviews. They’ll all painfully boring and don’t go anywhere beyond “This is a pretty good song.”
The album is three years old, making any kind of review totally irrelevant.
So, I had this ridiculous idea; I always come up with the best Friday Fun ideas when I’m half-asleep! YouTube dungeons, not so much. So, what would happen if I attempted to review an album (or more accurately, liveblog the album) on an hour of sleep? It wouldn’t be hard. My sleeping habits are atrocious anyway. As for the whole “three years old” thing? I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t even know this album was from 2015 until halfway through listening. I didn’t even know 3776 existed until OTOTOY informed me of this album’s existence. But one thing I do know, is Ide Chiyono (also known as 3776-chan in this review, as I was too tired to remember her actual name) is, according to her Last.FM profile image, the disaster girl meme.
Brian was invited to provide some input on 3776 as a bona fide expert, but he refused on the grounds that the piece would be funnier if it had less context.
Long story short, consider this shitpost-in-disguise an introduction to 3776 of sorts. As much of an introduction as a shitpost can be. But hopefully, we’ll be covering 3776 more in the future, because this was one of the most fun albums I’ve listened to in a long time.
Adequately timed with the release of their latest EP, “New Way Of Lovin’“, the ever-changing lo-fi rap idols and buddies of our Papermaiden Koutei Camera Girl Drei have brought us a delightful little MV for a song that, like the best kind of alcohol, can be enjoyed both on a warm sunny day and on a night where you just want to let loose either at home or in a mid-end nightclub. As I prefer my Kouteis at night, it always seems kind of surreal to me whenever I see sunny outdoorsy stuff from them, but if any song from their latest works alongside the sunny skies we’re currently having, then it’s “Slowly World”. As much as Zwei will always be my favourite incarnation of Kouteca, I still always get excited by a new release from these ladies, and this music video and EP is no exception. Try and check out their latest if you get the chance.
I don’t even need to do an introduction this week. Fig already won #HomicidolsFanficDay. Just- just read it. This deserves to be published in hardback and a movie adaptation titled Idol Is Dead ” to be screened at Cannes. Amazing.
I just got back from Hyper Japan as I write this and I’m exhausted, my back aches, I think being hit in the face by Ladybeard’s pigtails must have erased my brain or something, because I can’t really think this week. So I’m bringing back something dumb I came up with a while back.
See, I have the theory that an oshi can be categorized into three different mindsets:
The oshi you want to marry
The oshi you want to be best friends forever with
The oshi you want to take to Disneyland and buy them ice cream
Sometimes these oshis can cross over into multiple categories (such as the oshi you want to marry and also take to Disney), but those are the main ones. So, I made an alignment chart for this: Continue reading →
Hi everyone! Anyone coming to Hyper Japan this weekend? I’m there tomorrow. I got a press pass very last minute (like too last minute to use it for its intended purpose, interviewing DLL) but they needed to see a business card so now I have a whole bunch of spare business cards that I don’t know what to do with so if you see me at the show I’ll give you an official Homicidols business card! Yes, seriously.
Kerrie, I say this as your publisher and also your friend: Autograph those things and charge 5 muckles or whatever you call British currency for them
Previously on PuuTube Things only get more and more sexually-charged with panties and other idol YouTubers. Nozomi is trapped in an eternal Groundhog Day loop. Also, she farts a lot. Concerned about her taste in “younger women,” the other dungeon captives stage an intervention for Saki, only for her to lose her cool and attack Megumi!
Episode 47: Puu-blic Service Announcement
“This is an important announcement from the Pouverlord. We have filed a warrant for Kamiya Saki’s arrest for cradle-robbing, gang activity, assaulting other captives, and mullet crimes. We could just lock her in the YouTube Dungeon permanently; however, we have been receiving threatening letters from Watanabe Junnosuke regarding something about “contractual obligations” and “If you keep bothering me, I’ll send your fat ass back to RIZAP!” so we have had to progress with our last resort. If you see this woman, please call the idol police immediately. Also, please like, comment and subscribe.”
Episode 48: Jail House Puus
“Did you not hear my announcement!? I said arrest Saki, not all of us!”
“Thanks a lot, Pour Lui!” fumed Nozomi. “Thanks to your campaign the police found out about all of our previous crimes! I knew you should have just gone back to the gym!”
“I’m going to make my mullet even uglier, that’ll teach you!” Saki used her one permitted phone call to contact her hairstylist.
“Previous crimes? I got arrested because I was holding all of you in my dungeon for two months! The hell did you do while my back was turned?” Pour Lui inquired.
“One of the people from the panty survey reported me for sexual harassment,” said Uika.
“Jesus Christ” Pour Lui whispered under her breath.
Episode 49: Plastic 6 mercy
While brainstorming ways on how to break out of their prison cell, Megumi comes up with the genius idea of testing each member’s head against a wall of Saran Wrap. Whoever can break through this tough barrier clearly has the strongest head and shall be used as a battering ram to break down the doors of their confined space! Judging by Kosho’s hysterical laughter, though, this is all just one big troll. “I can’t believe these idiots are actually falling for this!” Megumi thinks to herself as she slams against the wall to make her “plan” seem more authentic.
Episode 50: Lost Episode
“Hi, this is Pour Lui, with my inmates-slash-BILLIE IDLE co-stars Uipon and Non-chan. As you can see, we’re still in jail. Turns out Kamiya Saki does not make for an effective battering ram. Neither does Koshouji Megumi. Nope, nope, her hilarious little tricks aren’t so funny when she’s on the giving end of an attempted wall breach, is it, Megumi?”
“Megumi can’t talk right now, she’s a little busy with her concussion”
“Tenko, just shut up and hold the camera! Anyway, the footage we recorded for this episode was deemed too graphic for YouTube so instead, we’ll just explain the full story. Maybe we’ll put the video on Liveleak later, I dunno. To the family and fans of Kamiya Saki, we are sorry for your loss. Her sacrifice was most definitely in vain”
Idol Jail outdoor free time; Kamiya Saki chose not to go outside in favour of “sleeping off” her injuries following he previous night’s breakout attempt. The BILLIE IDLE girls are lifting weights. Tentenko is knitting socks to sell on her online store. Koshouji Megumi excitedly rushes over:
“Waaiit a second! We’ve just ran around in a circle and back to our jail cell!” Megumi realised.
“Oh yeah, I forgot. I own idol jail.” Pour Lui added.
“How the hell do you own a jail and forgot about it?” Asked Tentenko
“Well,” said Pour Lui “I bought it when BiS reformed so we could do some IDOL Is DEAD nostalgia stuff but then Watanabe took over, wouldn’t let me use it how I wanted, and now that’s just where he keeps all the WAggs and audition rejects.”
“So that’s why that Mimiland kid tried to shank me for a cigarette earlier!” said Nozomi. “Anyway, let’s go”
“No can do,” Uika called from the back as she struggled to open the door. “Watanabitch locked us in here real good!”
“Now what?” Megumi slumped in her chair.
“We’re just going to have to give in to his sadist tendencies and maybe he’ll let us go” Pour Lui sighed. “Do we have any kind of medieval torture device?”
“Oh! I have something that might work!” Tentenko turned out her pockets.
Did their plan to win over Watanabe work? What happened to Saki? Will someone please give Megumi a hug?
Find out next time on IDOL is DEAD 3: JAiL HOUSE ROCK
PuuTube Rival Of The Week
Desu.Rabbits eat ramen. Idol budgets aren’t very high, okay?